Thrill Fiction: Trophy Wife

Friday, 31 July 2009

Trophy Wife

The Rock of Love 2 highlight reel should not include Megan Hauserman. At best she was fodder albeit with two standout moments - one of them a TFi favourite:

The other was her elimination.

Megan debuted on Celebreality as an unknown. She was not unknown to all. Some Vh1 viewers also watch Beauty and the Geek (which can be seen on the perverted Channel 4 network here in the UK). Apparently she won the third series or something. That experience worked for her. Unlike Tamara and Melissa Rivers, much like Omorosa, Megan planned her exit strategy to a ‘t’. She was remembered.

51 Minds had more than plenty to choose from for their all-starlet brand new game show I Love Money. So they chose her. Amongst titans such as the Stallionaires, Whiteboy, Mr Boston, 12 Pack, Pumkin, Hottie, Red Oyster, Heather, Lacey, Bootz, Buckeey, Buckwild they chose her. Believe me there are more they could have chosen for Season 1 – Tango, Like Dat, Raven, Romance, the list is exhaustive. They chose Megan

“Saggy boobs suck!”

and a franchise was born.

Celebreality bitches tend to bellow a lot and deliver little.

Not so Megan Hauserman.

In Mexico the all-starlets strutted with youthful and delusional confidence. Every one of them thought they could win (except for Midget Mac who was keeping it real. TFi to the midget – what flies in the ‘hood doesn’t fly in Huatulco). There was always only one person who could have won and none of the money grubbers had a clue until it was shown them on TV.

Walking off the Mexican set showed Megan was better than everyone else. You can stuff your quarter million dollars. In today’s money that’s only worth about a quarter million pesos. So off she went to Charm School complete with dog and bitch as entourage. She didn’t need Charm School.

“Well I don’t really see myself as working. I

think a best fit would be like a

top of the line trophy wife.”

Charm School needed her.

51 Minds need her. Vh1 want her. It’s a shame I don’t fancy her otherwise I’d have borrowed a million bucks from T-Weed and applied for her show myself.

Megan Wants a Millionaire premieres on Sunday 2^nd August.