Wednesday, 22 July 2009

Daisy of Love 110

12 Pack can play drums?

This week’s MVP

because 12p can also play people.

The eX(YZ) girls

Chi Chi has been sent home and the London feels the heat. It’s not from Sinister

I will bring you down to Chinatown.”


According to Heather’s rant at the I Love Money reunion 12p still lives at home with mom and pop which explains the frat Jersey boy point of view.

You want to get back in this house? Give me

a shot of Tabasco dude and maybe

we’ll think about it.”

That earns grudging admiration because this is Daisy of Love and not America’s Smartest Model.

They retire to the backyard. London came back into this house for a purpose. It doesn’t take him long to make his move.

Poor Sinister. First 12p now London. Daisy chose Sin over Chi Chi which isn’t saying more than choosing Iraq over Afghanistan.

You what?

This is how you give a girl flowers.

When Sinister went to pluck those weeds he lost his manhood along with a ring he’d been wearing for (allegedly) 12 years.

Did his parents give him a ring while he was still suckling?

Sinister goes all punk rock.

That’s coming out of your stipend boy.

Day breaks and Sinister regrets his last night actions.

… I should be able to express my feelings

and people should be able to understand it.”

An extract from Daisy’s diary informs the guys she wants to meet their exes. This of course makes no sense in real life – unless you like girl-on-girl violence.

Shannen Doherty vs. Paris Hilton

Shanna Moakler vs. Paris Hilton

It does however make ratings gold for reality TV.

So why is 12p smiling?

This is his ex Jamie.

Jamie:My parents flat out think he’s gay.”

I was thrown out of that house the second

she came through the door.”

So why is 12p smiling?

Daisy tells the guys that tonight’s elimination will be a double. It’s the semi-finals y’all.

Bring out the X- women.

Sinister’s ex Ashley.

Sinister likey the punk rats.

This is Cathy.

That’s why 12p is smiling.

I’ve known Cathy since 6th grade…”

That’s why 12p is smiling. They may have dated once upon a lifetime ago but now she’s more like a buddy/sister. Way to circumnavigate 51 Minds 12p.

I think the production company needs another brain. Give Daisy a producer credit.

Here comes Kia for Flex

and London’s old friend… Natasha.

From Rock of Love Bus.

You what?


This is not a fair game.”

Nose hit.

Daisy and her Rat take the girls outdoors for a meal and gossip. Cathy declares her hand immediately.

I honestly don’t have anything bad

to say about him.”

That’s why 12p is smiling.

This is going nowhere fast. Unlike the other girls Natasha has done the Vh1 reality initiation so she knows what’s expected of her.

He (London) might be dating someone.”

Now Daisy, like most hysterics, needs to constantly feed. This revelation is like a full course meal.

I’m just getting to the point where I’m

starting to trust London a little bit

and then I find this crap out?

Sex addict.”

Who isn’t?

TFi appreciates Natasha isn’t dropping her friend in it. Like 12p she’s here to perform a role. Besides at this point we all know who’s going to win. The good news for 12p is 2nd place practically guarantees a spot on I Love Money 3.

Okay let me break this down: Flex is a

heartbreaker that plays creepy head games.

12 Pack oh he’s the most perfect guy around.

London could be a sex maniac and may

even have a girlfriend still.”

Sex maniac was the term used before the politically correct ‘sex addict’. As in Bill Clinton is a sex maniac.

This is where reality bites: Ashley tells the world that Sinister is a wife beater.

It later transpires they were drunk and horse playing around and the ‘smack’ was accidental. Yet Vh1 chose to broadcast her initial assertion.

Buyer beware: reality TV will ruin your life.

But now I have something really important

planned. I figure the best most logical way

to find out which one of these guys is truly

here for me … Psychic readings.”

You could have told us that in 101 Daisy and saved us all a season.

A psychic is a charlatan on a TV show. This is not to be confused with a fraudster on a TV show eg Ricki Lake. Laurie is Daisy’s personal psychic and when she opens her mouth all we hear is her belly rumble.

to 12p: I think in a past life that you have had an

awful lot of responsibilities.”

Can we verify that?

Time for the obligatory mixer out back; booze is a great informer.

Cue the pack attack on London.

This whole ex-girlfriend mixer is just like

I expected. Tons of secrets coming out.

It couldn’t be any better than it is right now.”

Before things can escalate to Defcon 1 Kia goes and spoils it.

Even though she is Flex’s old flame it is 12p who does the gentlemanly thing.

Time to get rid of the crunk and disorderly exes.

Time for 12p to make his move:

To Daisy: “I think London’s a great dude.

You know what if he’s dating someone

then you decide if you want to get involved

okay? As far as Sinister’s concerned I don’t

even know which girl was here with Sinister.

I think Flex is a great dude but it looked

like he was about to make out with his

ex-girl the entire night tonight.”

12p is an all-star celebreality TV veteran. He’s been in the mix with New York, the Stallionaires, the Entertainer, Heather, Trophy Wife Megan, Whiteboy and Mr Boston.

The other three never saw it coming.

To wit; Daisy wants to know who each one thinks should be in the final with them.

12 Pack.”

12 Pack.”

12 Pack.”

I’m just sitting here in amazement that all

three of these guys would be foolish

enough to tell daisy that I should be

the guy she should be with.”

12 Pack you’re coming to the final with me.”

They never had a chance.

The eliminations:

Someone is going to Maui with 12p.

And Daisy.

It’s not Sinister.

She choose London.

And Flex.

Hey. She’s not going to get a second series so she might as well milk it.

Next week on Daisy of Love:

TFi: If you were expecting a recap of the recap show do yourself some funny and read all my recaps.

Read more Thrill Fiction: Daisy of Love 109

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