Tuesday, 28 April 2009

Daisy of Love 101

I’m a Daisy

Remember the tattooed duck billed fake tits from Rock of Love 2? Not Angelique. She was Rock of Love 1. Daisy de la Hoya’s the cry baby who got her arse chequed by Heather at the reunion. The result of which is this show in lieu of lawsuit – so the internet legend goes.

Daisy - if that’s her real name - describes herself as a “singer model and all around badass”. I describe her as a liar a groupie and Heather’s door knocker. Clearly one of us is delusional.

Hitherto known as the Rat tries to convince the casual viewer that Daisy is looking for love. Don’t bother. They’re watching The Hills. Clearly more than one of us is delusional.

A lot rests on this man’s abs. He’s the link to the INY audience who normally wouldn’t watch a bunch of rock jocks making stupid. 12 Pack (12p) has good form in this area.

How many of you guys are musicians?

How many of you failed the American Idol auditions?

Is Daisy a hag before she’s 30? Is she over 30? With that much body work I can’t tell. That’s the point I suppose. Like her or don’t like her the lady is a vamp. Hollywood A-Listers need Vanity Fair for this kind of heat.

An interesting thing becomes me. After her Village People routine she addresses her suitors lechers and comes across as down to Earth nice.

I’m beginning to like her. I am as fickle as a football fan. Hey! I’m here to be entertained damnit. She’s got my attention.

The Hoya excuses herself for a costume change and leaves the boys free reign of the bar.

American men are just like us.

12p speaks his best to fit in.

Man I don’t even think half these
people come to a room yet dude.”

He’s the only straighthead at Ozzfest. I feel you. I went to the January Sales once. That was like a moshpit.

If your real hair looks like a wig - what the French is the difference?

Oops. Mohawk forgot why he’s there and the 3plets announce they’ll do Daisy like a Swedish smorgasbord. This is casting by Donald Rumsfeld.

It’s a love show. They have to have pet names (shout out to the homie).

I must declare an interest aka full disclosure. I contacted him through myspace. I’m hoping for an interview.

Start the mixer.

Cable Guy thinks he stands out because he hasn’t got any tattoos.

Daisy thinks Fox is really hot.

Day 1.

Sack it. I’m not in a position to comment on what women find attractive. I’m not a virgin.

Sinister and Chi Chi are buddies from outside the house and roommates inside it. Looks like they’re the Red Oyster bitches too. They grass up Mohawk.

Don’t call The Hoya a bitch.

51 Minds have kindly provided subtitles over the Love years. For example Flavation Angelique Caviar and now the 3plets. How about translating this:

It is what it is. I do what I do.”


To her credit Daisy told him what for. Shame she didn’t tell Heather that.

All-eyes-on-me Flipper wants to stand out from the “19 perverts”. He makes a Suicide Circle flip off the rig.

On a night like this someone is going to get hurt.

Turns out Daisy was freaked out by the Swedish exports too

and evicts them before eliminations.

Drunk as a Weasel and couldn’t care less if he knew what was going on.

What’s going on is Cable Guy gets his first week pass like Roxy did like Dallas and Natasha. Fox got the very first chain and 12p got his of course.

There are two more rejects to evict and surprisingly Mohawk Weasel and London aren’t amongst them. Lesson learnt? Rock chicks don’t mind pissheads.

As evidenced by these collector item flasks.

Next week on Daisy of Love:

More Daisy.

TFi: I was dubious going in about this show but the nutcase factor amongst the lads seems red zone enough. Should be a laugh. As for Daisy – I’m still on the fence.

That’s entertainment.

Oh and Cable Guy; if a man lays his hands on you (even a reprobate like Flipper) television or no cameras - knock him out.

Read more Thrill Fiction: Daisy of Love 102 
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