Thursday, 16 April 2009

I Love Money 211


What hurts more? Being called 'a bitch' by a boy or girl? In this episode without Buckwild Saaphyri sinks like a ship with an open trap door. Myammee rises to the bait.

This week's MVP.

Immediately after last week's elimination 20p goes into damage control by trying to make peace with Saaphyri. This proves that clothes indeed do not make the man.

Now either this boy is in an intellectual vegetative state or he's never seen Saaphyri scorned – you decide.

This is what a bully looks like when she's seething.

Elsewhere Tailor Made gloats over the demise of Becky Buckwild and it is here Myammee expresses concern about the 20p deal.

"I feel I'm not part of this deal. Yes my alliance

is but I was nowhere to be around."


It also expresses his concern; he doesn't want Saaphyri to leave. Aww.

Saaphyri scrambles. It feels like history calling her alliance the OGs. There's so few of them. They were once mighty now they're 20p and Frenchie.

"At this point right now there is a smart alliance

and I'm not in it. I'm in the dumb alliance.

Head of the dumb alliance."

What's a bully to do? If all out war fails try the diplomatic front.

"I want to consult Myammee because maybe

we can form some sort of an alliance."

Play the gender card sister.

"As a woman, you being a woman

too…" blah blah blah

"She's just trying to kiss arse and stay in."

"You're a cute girl you know what I'm saying."

"You said I was ugly the other day."

Uh-oh. Diplomacy? Charm School?

"Why you always got to be naked at eliminations?"

If diplomacy fails try all out war.

"I did say you were cute. I didn't say you

were beautiful."

Saaphyri's default setting is aggression. She should have served in the last administration.

Challenge time! It involves water and we know Ms Myammee doesn't like to get her hair wet.

So she wins.

20p is the dead last loser. He's auto inbox but he's not worried. He's got that deal with Tailor Made and TMF which is why he threw the challenge.


The logic being he doesn't want to be paymaster and have to send Saaphyri home.


"At this point right now I'm scared of going

in that box because that little bitch –

she wants to send me home."

Oh yeah. I forgot. 20p you shouldn't be worried.

The victory parade after the challenge and It suggests they welch on the 20p deal. Tailor Made was the architect of that deal. He advises against it. Myammee drops her bombshell:

"I wasn't even in here."

… when the deal was made. Tailor Made is nervous. He's concerned how a broken promise will make him look. It's not morality it's strategy. He recalls season 1. Ie the jury.

Yup. The final three may have to face 20p again. Role reversal.

However Tailor made should worry more about the here and now.

"So Tailor Made doesn't want to send home

20 pack. Everybody wants him gone but him…

This is not Tailor Made team."

The solution? Distilled.

Tailor Made gets sloppy and tries to warn 20p.

"Step it up at this power outing and be – Explain

to Myammee why she's gotta keep you."

Previously in this episode Saaphyri described 20p as a fool.

"Tailor Made pretty much tells me

'Dude you're good'. The alliance… has your back.

The numbers are there. I feel pretty comfortable."


Tailor Made's drunken New Yawk voice can be heard in Jersey.

"What the (frenchie)! He's got some sort of

side deal going on with Tailor Made."

The following shriek-fest is what the Victorians would have diagnosed as a bout of hysteria. Yup. Back then it was considered a medical condition. Nowadays it's called entertainment.

Tailor Made should stop laughing and worry about the here and now.

"I'm getting very frustrated with Tailor Made.

I mean he's already on the verge of me

not trusting him right now 'cos he's always

having conversations with 20. Like what

the hell do you have to discuss?"

Saaphyri is a great asset but an even greater adversary. Don't take your eyes off her as she pulls Frenchie for a tête-à-tête.

Saaphyri is playing the gender card. Hard. To the wrong audience. As far as Frenchie is concerned she's preaching to the perverted converted.

Frenchie might look like a clown and sound like a courtesan applying for a green card but she hasn't made a stupid move yet in this game. She knows her erstwhile love interest has abandoned her to a Buckwild fate. Girl power it is.

Speaking of witches:


An alliance I didn't name? Myammee now is calling the shots. Shhh. It's a secret. Like Megan/Brandy C./Toastee/ Pumpkin. This does not look good for Tailor Made.

Inside the vault things do not look good for Saaphyri.

Fast thinking can keep a ship from sinking. Saaphyri takes the floor and in dulcet tones urges women of the world to unite! Against It Tailor Made and 20p.

Condi and Hillary would be proud.

… of the speech not the result. The OGs are screwed.

Saaphyri threatens to quit. It's not strategy it's exasperation. She wants to expose the unfair machinations of the vault to 'the people at home'.

Like we give a French.

'Vh1 and 51 Minds manipulate reality TV show' is not a headline the Associated Press would wire across the world. News flash - The Easter bunny is a myth Santa Claus does not exist and there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.


I want my Vh1.

"That's just great. We can kill two birds

with one stone. You quit we get 20 out

of here in the same thing."

Craig asks Saaphyri one last time "do you want to quit I Love Money?"

Saaphyri: "Should I quit It?"

Here comes a moment of genuine tenderness;

"Nah… mumble mumble mumble…

You know what I mean?"

Whatever he said works. She doesn't quit. Leaving TMF infuriated. Watch out It. The Underdogs have contacted rabies.

Craig calls in Mrs Paymaster.

Big dog in a cage.

As soon as they get back to the bedroom the foaming at the mouth Underdogs turn on It.

Is he with them or Saaphyri? They don't trust him no more. Truth is at this point in the game they need a scapegoat to mark for future elimination. It volunteered.

"Now she's messing with my alliance. That makes

me want to send her home over 20 right now."

That's good news for Tailor Made and his jury tampering.

The power outing is at a spa.

20p sleeps through the massage while Ms Myammee tells us in her interview Segment what we already knew. She wants the alpha female spot – which is why she clashes with Saaphyri.

"He thinks he's safe just because he made

a deal with Tailor Made but you need to

bow down to me because I'm the queen today."

Try telling that to Saaphyri.

"She don't like the fact me and It is cool. What

that got to do with anything? The point is I'm

sick of looking at her big marsh mellow head

sitting in front of me."

Frenchie and 20p do the smart thing and stay out of it.

"It's all good. I'll go. I'll go."

Who needs a 1on1 after that? Not Myammee.

Back at the house and 20p chews the cud.

Which is when Ice lets slip – when the TMF/20p deal was struck last week Myammee was in the bathroom!

She was telling the truth! No wonder I couldn't find a cap with her in it.

"It's not looking good."

The eliminations.

It's getting sparse out here.

Oh mama.

Who gets the first cheque?

"Okay, whatever. Get out of the way. Let

me just send one of these two home."

"Tailor Made turned on me for the

third time in this game."


Now either this boy is in an intellectual vegetative state or he doesn't realise Queen Myammee just took control of this game.

"Saaphyri I wish you would have quit today so

I could send you and 20 home together…

but when it's all said and done I can beat

you if I go against you."

Here we go.

"I'm like so? You didn't eliminate me. I still don't

like your arse. Just 'cos you're powermaster

doesn't mean I'm a sit here and listen

to you. You don't really have power."

She's clutching at cheques and is not the only one who realises the game has changed.

"I essentially feel that I'm no longer

in control of my team."

Next week on I Love Money 2:

Tailor Made needs a power move.

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