Wednesday, 25 February 2009

I LOVE MONEY 204

FAST TALK


T-Weed's stand out scene in I Love New York was him telling Omorosa that he's worth over $100million. Later when New York confronted him with his deadbeat credit report he wore the look of a little boy caught with his daddy's big boy magazines. But he kept lying. The brain freezes and the mouth continues. He's a fast talker is T-Weed. But a fast thinker he's not.


This week's MVP.

The morning after last night's eliminations. MILF calls out her team for stabbing her in the back and voting her in the box. She swears allegiance to Saaphyri and moves out of the Buddha bedroom. He's exasperated. But maybe it's beginning to dawn on him that another word for milf is cougar.

"They don't want the team..."



"They want you."


"You might want to think about that."


The cougar snarls. Buddha doesn't have a comeback. How could he? What MILF said makes strategic sense: if the Green Team want to save themselves they have to give up Buddha.

T-Weed wants to save himself.


The teams congregate downstairs to choose their captains for the next task. Saaphyri nominates Frank and no one opposes. In her interview segment she declares her maniacal hatred for Buddha. They're building quite a bond Saaphyri and Frank.


Over on the Green Team Buddha nominates Bonez for captain. Boo! Your world is falling apart Buddha and you're hiding behind the skinny boy.


The task begins. With team members placed in couples Becky and MILF sabotage their given partners, Ice and Buddha. That leaves T-Weed and Myammee alone against all the Gold Team except the exempt Cali(?)


T-Weed and Myammee stand strong as three Gold Team pairs fall around them.

Myammee looks like a nubian goddess yo.

But T-Weed slips. Frenchie and Prancer win!

Yup. Green Team lose. Again.


This is the part I don't get; Buddha leads the charge and Green Team blame T-Weed for their loss. This is making MILF look like a super genius for leaving this lot and she had to be coerced into doing so.


Back at the mansion and T-Weed's scrambling for a $250 grand life. He crawls on his belly to the Gold Team (which now includes Buckwild and MILF). These mathematicians surmise they need four votes to put Buddha in the box. Ie they need another vote.


Poor Bonez. Saaphyri and Becky use the good cop good cop routine with him. I know, but at least they weren't attempting to be cute and charming. They were appealing to his common sense of survival – Everybody hates Buddha; You are cordially invited to attend the lynch party.

It's vault day and T-Weed's scrambling for a $250 grand life. He puts it out there for everyone to vote for Buddha. Craig initiates the 15-minute countdown and Team captain Bonez takes charge. He calls the vote.

Buckwild's vote is purely tactical (and malicious). She's voting for no one except Buddha. Becky in the box. MILF, the second turncoat, goes in the box. Tally the vote for Buddha: Becky MILF and T-Weed raise their hands.

"Their little gang up tactics on me to get rid of Buddha is not going to work."


Oops.


He does not take it well. But before he can say anything more than 'bitch'…

The Gold Team come in for the results.


Oops.

There! That's the face I was talking about.


It's the power outing where everyone knows Saaphyri's little bitch Becky Buckwild is (always) safe.

T-Weed talks fast. He talks about the pilgrims and Mexico. And small pox (?)

T-Weed accuses MILF of being a double agent. That gets Franks attention.


So MILF gets T-Weed's attention.


The Entertainer shoos away the women for the one-on-one. T-Weed doesn't shut the hell up.

He hates Buddha.

So does Frank.


It's time for the eliminations.

Ditto last week Buckwild gets her cheque with no preamble and finally! T-Weed has run out of things to say.


But Frank the Entertainer hasn't.

Yup. T-Weed is bounced.


And he's still fast talking in his Interview Segment.


Craig J Jackson cuts in on the Gold Team celebrations. Slow down. There's a twist!

Craig talks like Jeff Probst. Yup. It's time to switch up the teams!


The girls vote for a girl captain – Myammee got two, Saaphyri got 10 million. It's a landslide. The boys vote and 20 Pack wins all but one – Frank voted for himself. It's a mudslide!


Like Day 1 the two captains proceed in a schoolyard vote. But! Another caveat – the reality-starlets are odd numbered. So just like Day 1 someone is going home.

Saaphyri picks Frank first. They've got a bond. 20 Pack chooses Heat/Caliente. (Who cares about the rest?)

The all new Green Team.

The all new Gold Team


Aah. Buddha.

That's right Frank. What you couldn't do VH1 did for you.


While the strongest alliance remains Saaphyri and Buckwild.

And Frank.


Next week on I Love Money 2:

VH1 make a play for 'Survivor's' audience.


Read more Thrill Fiction: I Love Money 205

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