This week’s MVP.
You swing babe.
The suitors arrive one-b-one. Megan and her retard bitch – Lily not Brandi C – meet them at the door. I approve. Decorum is apropos.
The 17 men have been background checked and verified. They’re all millionaires
though no one’s asking Big Mike where he got his money from.
Garth is a plumber. He owns the company but that doesn’t stop him being a plumber.
Donald is a movie producer. No. Not those kinds of movies; these kinds of movies.
Hello? Is that the Academy? I’ll hold.
This 25 year old beaver is not yet a millionaire. His grandfather left him a mention in his will so he’s waiting for the old man to croak.
This is Al. He’s nervous. Keep an eye on him.
Ah. The token brother. With this show’s criterion I’m surprised they actually found one. Talking about tokens, this being LA and all, there’s got to be a porno guy
and a gay guy.
He just doesn’t know it.
This guy is slime.
His game is to promise her spending sprees. Hey! Megan wants a millionaire not a personal shopper.
This dude’s originally from
With the millionaires trapped inside the mansion Megan’s backup arrives.
Trixie sez she’s never seen Brandi look better. I say she looks better in porn.
Another Megan clone? If there’s a hierarchy she's way below Lily.
Time for the
nicknames formal introductions. At this point in their respective shows Flav was a sleaze while Brett took sleazy pictures. Megan is a lady. She gives presents. She expects better presents in return.
Trust Fund Baby Joe – hitherto known as Baby Joe – gets a piggy bank. Keep it filled boy.
Turns out the Punisher is a stripper.
These shows have got to have a stripper – but a millionaire stripper?
I’m off to Vegas.
Sex Toy Dave is the right height.
Everyone gets a Megan gift then she drops her bombshell: don’t unpack! Three of yous aren’t staying.
Money can’t always buy a trophy wife.
It’s time for the mixer but with no Chance or Flipper I’m not expecting fireworks.
Audi is from
Megan: “So you make girls go psycho? What do
you do to them to make them crazy?”
Audi: “I don’t know. I guess it’s the hump game.”
We’ve got Audis like that in
Megan’s intrigued by a ‘millionaire stripper’. Go on Punisher – show the girl the goods.
“It’s a birthmark.”
“It looks like a map of Cuba.”
Al’s – the nervous guy – gift from Megan was a bottle of massage oil. So he uses it on her feet in full view of Garth the Plumber. It’s neither sensual nor soothing but it is utterly submissive.
In an attempt to be charming Al barks – as in woof! Woof! – at Megan.
The next sequence is of him pleading for clemency.
Megan has bigger fish to fry.
“I knew there was something I liked about
Donald. He can put me in movies.”
Bottom bitch Brandi C and under-bitch Cecille decide to give James the money talk.
Brandi C: “I’m a little concerned about the
fact that you work as a waiter, you don’t
have any money –“
James: “Listen. I have money. I’m going to get
it within a year.”
that his grandfather’s health is in a frail state.”
Ryan is from
Megan: “So why do you live there?”
Ryan isn’t legally allowed to work in the
Ryan is from
The millionaires talk shop. Donald the movie producer pitches his next masterpiece: Cannibal Cavegrrl. No one is interested except Baby Joe who sounds like he wants to pre order the DVD .
Garth the plumber is sick of the two of them.
With no Chance or Flipper I’m not expecting fireworks.
There goes Megan’s present.
“I hope you feel like a man for breaking
my piggy bank. Thank you.”
Millionaires are people too.
“I can’t wait to tell Megan about this.”
Before he can it’s time for eliminations.
Clocks and backstage passes were good. Chains were blah! Megan has credit cards. A sure sign that production has put some thought into this show. Said cards are pre approved for 14 of the boys.
Your credit has been denied!
I don’t fancy Megan but I could fall in love with her.
Next time on Megan Wants a Millionaire
More wit. More charm. More money. More Megan.
Read more Thrill Fiction: I Love Money
TFi: Apologies for the late late post. The next one is catch up!
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