Saturday, 21 March 2009

I Love Money

Season 3: The Wish List Cast

I Love Money premiered on 06/07/08. Season 2 premiered 02/02/09. Needless to say season 3 will premiere this year and since production is yet to start Thrill Fiction will chart the eligible contestants from Flavor of Love and the spin offs (hitherto known as The Franchise) for your reading pleasure.

The have-no talent reality TV pond is teeming with low life and high hopes. The Franchise gave Z-list lifestyles to girls and boys whom no one remembers - Ears? Choclate? - as well as to those who may well have burnt their bridges Cherry, Knock-Out – not to be confused with K.O.- and my favourite Crazy/Heather/Naeveh the delusional.

Others like Goldie Punk and Deelishis appear to have moved on but light a candle for the ones who had such a torrid time it's unlikely they watch television anymore. The sweet Payshintz the dullard Pretty the dopey Kami and the beat up beat down H-Town.

There is a vast majority available to be made fools of. Again.

Some of them could even excite the viewers. Some could go further and actually entertain us. There could be a spot for a new Megan. Remember her? She hardly got to say her lines in Brett's boring second season because it was dominated by Kristy 'crackpot' Jo. Megan's now a Trophy Wife. Coming soon.

There are almost 150 women to choose from. They may not be marriage material but they've got to love money. Any selection from the following will guarantee at least one fist fight at the reunion.

A-Bomb Soon to get her own show. If Vh1 put their 51 Minds to it.

Farrah The new Heather. The Heat to A-Bomb's 12 Pack. These two together can make a middle aged rocker whine like a neglected bitch on the track.

Brittanya because someone has to throw the first punch.

Marcia will ensure there's no possibility of tequila going to waste.

DJ Lady Tribe The nutcase factor. A lack of self awareness is a hot mess to behold.

Gia Give the girl a chance to redeem herself. The way Toastee did. Did not.

Feisty has already got a campaign going.

Cocktail is up for anything in front of the camera. For example Ray J.

Rabbit Bourgy eye candy.

Bubbles An ideal candidate to fill the Tamara spot. If it gets dull just shine a light on Minnie Mouse.

Ki Ki Ghetto madness export to Mexico. Yankee revenge for Sureños.

So Hood She can fill in the Frenchie role and molest one of the boys.

Roxy 'cause she didn't get a chance with that geriatric 80s rocker. Good girl.

Sinceer She will bring it – bluster. A lot of that but a lot of game too. She'd form an alliance then backstab them at the right time. Klingons are smart.

Black The video ho factor

Buckeey Her videotape exploits would bring in a whole new demographic.

Bootz Throw a dildo shaped ice sculpture into a women's prison and watch the Bootz effect.

Spunkeey Lasted three episodes – enough time to display all her snitching bitching stirring phoney faces. No. She's got more than that.

Hottie Mentally challenged people skanks should be given equal opportunity to appear on reality TV as other skanks.

Serious because I hate it when a girl is misunderstood.

The Men


It's been noted before that the well is not as deep as it is for the women. 21st century boy is trying his lame best to catch up on the skank-o-scale.

Pootie If he's available. He could be in the bighouse. Or the nuthouse.

Romance If he's available. He could have bought a new petting dog.

Rico Quite frankly I'm surprised he wasn't in season 1 or 2. Nibblez was.

12 Pack Why the French not?

White Boy To go head to head against 12 Pack.

Token There's game in that kid.

Season 2

Mr Wise If White Boy declines.

Undoubtedly there'll be a gaggle of lame rocker wannabes from Daisy of Love. Hopefully the shirt and ties from Trophy Wife will be barred. If cast correctly like season 1 there could be a new celebreality star in the makes.

Just like Frank.

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