Thursday, 25 June 2009

Daisy of Love 108

Money, booze, gambling, drugs and women can expose the true character of a man. Daisy can do that to Sinister.

This weeks MVP

Friends Fall Apart

5 boys remain and Chi Chi is still worried about how going after the same girl will affect his friendship with Sinister. Chi Chi is young not dumb. He’s naïve to the fact that give him the wrong woman and best friend will Jason Miller her if she’s pretty.

What’s good for the goose bumps…

There’s a preponderance of cooks hit shows on TV. They enjoy huge ratings and have made stars out of sweaty cretins. This is after all a culture of avarice. The manifestation is of a congregation of couch potatoes salivating over mutton dressed as lamb.

My signature dish is trailer park pizza. It’s a

piece of bread with ketchup and a piece of

cheese on top. And you basically set it in

the sun long enough for it to melt the

cheese and you eat it.”

Give it a French name and serve it at gourmet restaurants everywhere for a week’s wage.

Commence the cooking challenge.

There’s a fire crew on stand by to make sure the kitchen remains part of the house.

Wait. That’s not a fire crew. It’s a bunch of caterers. Rock caterers. You can tell ‘cos they’re dressed in black.

Turns out the lads can actually follow the instructions on a recipe. Surprise 51 Minds. Even I can cook. Though given the choice I wouldn’t eat any of it.

As far as challenges go and dragging out a segment for TV this one backfired. The food was well prepared, presented and enjoyed.

Somewhere Hottie is laughing her head off.

So Daisy raises the stakes. She wants all 5 guys to pick the rival who they think is most compatible with The Hoya and the one least. Because there hasn’t been a real fight since Cage walked.

Chi Chi thinks Sinister is good, Big Rig is bad. Sinister thinks Big Rig is bad and Flex is good.


Chi Chi leaves the table in tears. Only joking. He doesn’t cry until he’s locked himself in the bogs.

Even 51 Minds is in on the joke.

51 Minds is telling the joke.

The demarcation lines are laid out like the dinner table. It’s the meatheads versus the skinny twins.

Daisy wants to know what Dave thinks.

The Rat: “Who’s Dave?

There’s a guy on the street corner selling snake oil and doing quite well. An acquaintance of his from the old neighbourhood walks past and spots him. This is the look a con merchant gives someone who knows.

Flex Pack think Chi Chi is all wrong for Daisy. The challenge is over; Flex wins and gets a solo date. Chi Chi and Big Rig are least compatible so they get a group date to plead their cases. Also known as the last rites.

The challenge may be over but the night isn’t. They hang out at the fire where Sinister cliché regales with his guitar.

As talented as Sinister is – and Daisy isn’t; note her feral howling – he’s a one trick pony. If you’re a musician without a record contract you’re not going to get groupie love.

Dave is no musician. He’s a 12 Pack. Ask Romance.

Did I not bring in the vodka?

I’m sorry 12 Pack took that up to

Daisy’s room. My bad.”

If you’re going to knock on a ladies door in the middle of the night have a bag of chips with you.

Turns out Daisy’s a tight arse. Sinister didn’t go up there for the vodka, love but in any case. You didn’t buy it.

What follows is politically correct 21st Century bitch speak. Once upon a time man was masculine woman was feminine. Alas in these TV times man is feminine woman is silicone construct.

Your sexual attraction is towards

him and. Dude. It hurts.

There’s only one of me.”

Maybe I feel that way because

I’m insecure.”

I’m insecure too.”

Daisy kicks and spits when she’s angry. Not a Pumpkin aggression spit more a spit-on-the-ground in frustration goss.

She’s hot.

If your name is Sinister.

A new day dawns in celebreality. Daisy has a date with Flex.

Daisy’s a one-trick pony too. And I’ve seen better looking ponies pulling gypsy carts.

After the date Sinister goes creeping to her room. There’s elimination tonight and he upset her last night. His idea of damage control is to throw Chi Chi under the bus.

And if he’s my friend he’ll understand.”

And he'll thank you for it.

For some reason this act of betrayal turns Daisy on. She likes the fact that dude wants his best friend out of the house. This puzzles me. Daisy seems to think his actions are a virtuous proclamation of his interest in her.

If Al-Qaeda were to take over the world tomorrow Sinister would swap his guitar for a beard. And name names.

Time for a date with the undesirables.

Chi Chi is accused of being needy.

If we went out and guys hit on you and buy

you drinks I think it’s awesome. Like

it’s good for yourself esteem.”

Why don’t you give her condoms on her way out? Methinks you over-played your hand love.

If some guy comes up to me. When I’m

with my girlfriend and offers to buy her a

drink, that sonofabitch better make it two.”

Big Rig gets accused of being a man.

This is LA.

It’s that time again.

It’s down to the incompatibles. Could 51 Minds signpost this any more obvious?

TFi: Screencapping is easy when production gives these losers their marks.

You’ve only known her three weeks meathead.

Daisy tells Chi Chi and Sinister this might be the last time both of them get a chain. So which one’s going home next week dumbass?

Next week on Daisy of Love:

The return of London.

Read more Thrill Fiction: Daisy of Love 107

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