Monday, 25 May 2009

Daisy of Love 105

This weekend is not yet over. It's a bank holiday in Britain and America. There's even more time to refelect on 'Sugar' Rashad Evans losing his UFC world light heavyweight title to Japanese Brazilian Lyoto Machida.

He broke my heart.

This week's MVP

Et tu Cage?

Will Fight For Love

At last week’s eliminations Daisy offered London a chain but he left anyway. This morning sees the boys in depressed mode. How does it feel when the girl you’re chasing is cut up over someone else?

Second best. At best.

They lament and feel sorry for themselves while Chi Chi wants them out of the room so he can sleep.

Wrong words. Wrong time.

Emotional transfer: Cage goes from despondent to enraged.

Chi Chi you were warned.

Cage, way to pick on one half of the smallest man in the house.

Big Rig takes the initiative and brings Daisy breakfast-in-bed.

Isn’t that where you eat sitting up without brushing your teeth?

Challenge ahoy! It’s a photo shoot! It’s just like Rock of Love!

The boys have to shoot Daisy for the CD cover of her new single! It’s called Pretty Messed Up.


Excuse me while I watch her performance from 101.

Bring back Britney.

I absolutely love photo shoots. I love

playing dress up and of course

I love being sexy.”

Of course. You’re a girl.

I fight for a living.”

Daisy chooses two teams of four. They’ll be in charge of hair make up and wardrobe. They’ll snap the pictures and one team member will be a prop. They’ve got an hour prep work.

I’m super excited because I did my

own album cover with my band and

stuff so who knows more about

album covers than me?

On Team 2 Fox wants to be the model.

You know Fox you do hair for a living.

Er why don’t you do the hair and leave

the modelling to the better looking guy?

Team 1 go first. 12p thinks the words ‘silver screen’ (Pretty Messed Up lyrics) is synonymous with the 50s and so

The team is happy with their work. 12p is happier with his.

Big Rig walks off set and the others make like eunuchs. How does it feel to when the girl you’re chasing is face sucking someone else? 12p’s good at this. Ask Romance.

Ready steady go Team 2.

Sinister is beginning to stand out as a talented kid with a helping of brains. He’s the art director and chooses the theme ‘beautiful disaster’.

Fox bumps the pro hair guy – after all, Fox is a pro hair guy – and does the Warren Beatty on The Hoya.

Over in the kitchen area Team 1 fill their faces. 12p is markedly upbeat.

Chi Chi: “Excited about going on a date later?

12p: “I feel like I just got a little date of my own yeah.”

Lads. Welcome to 12p.

Over at Team 2 Fox wants in on the flash photography.

Daisy’s pair of tits.

These are the contesting album covers.

Team 2 is on the right so left must be Team 1.

Who’s Marylyn Monroe?

Ah. Fox.

Team 2 won and this guy is Daisy’s MVP.

I guess that hair and make out up session paid off.

So she told me I win a solo date

with her. I feel so awesome that

I can be so low with her.”

Ah. Fox.

Cage and Sinister sit in the garden to lick their wounds. Daisy’s blatant favouritism is like London all over again. Cage goes into tailspin.

Daisy’s bedroom date with Fox is Greek toga themed.

Ridiculous but she did say she likes to dress up. This is what happens when you make a bottom top.

On this date Daisy finds out what everyone else already knows.

I’m really not worried about Fox at

all because the guy is just an idiot.

He’s got no brain in his head to play

this game like I can and he’s going to

screw himself out of this competition.”

Daisy goes to bed and the boys party in the pool. A skunk invades the house and a complete melee ensues. Big tough guys chasing a lil’ ol’ skunk.

Conspiracy theory #1: did Vh1 hire the skunk from Hollywood Animals to spray hilarity into this sinking ship? Would a rat have been too obvious? Let me know.

The next day Team 2 sans Fox go out on their date. It’s a skateboarding rink.

Daisy can skateboard.

No one else can.

Daisy decides she doesn’t know enough of 6 Gauge’s deep dark secrets so she pulls him for the 1on1. Her mistake. He tells her about his goals and business acumen.

His mistake.

In the limo drive back Flex goads 6 Gauge into showing Daisy his self mutilated penis.

The day will come when Vh1 is allowed to show such things. Until then be thankful.

Night time in the mansion and Cage has had too much to drink. His antics leave Flex with a burnt hand. He isn’t done yet. Dude starts looking for a fight.

He picks on the biggest guy in the house.

An equal opportunity hot head.

What started as a shove turns ugly as Flex jumps Cage from behind. The production crew try to prevent a homicide.

You’re a lucky boy Flex.

Daisy wants to talk to Cage. It’s no good.

He’s an emotional mess. He’s drunk. He’s infuriated. Humiliated (by Flex’s pearl harbour). He’s unhappy.

Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani. Matthew 27:46

I can’t. I can’t be in the same

house with Flex anymore.”

He walks.

There goes a man right there.

There will be no eliminations tonight.

Daisy talks like she evicted him.

I don’t like violence. I grew up with

violence in my own life. And that’s

not something I condone.”

She retires to her room, crying – a hobby of hers – and gazes at the carpet.

Drama tiara.

Next week on Daisy of Love:

I don’t like violence. I grew up with

violence in my own life. And that’s

not something I condone.”

TFi: UFC fans - ever wonder what John Hackleman would do once Chuck retires?

In other news; that's 5 men out of an original 20 who have walked out on Daisy.

Them's council estate slag numbers.

Read more Thrill Fiction: Depeche Mode.

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