Thrill Fiction: Daisy of Love 104

Tuesday 19 May 2009

Daisy of Love 104

One of the concepts of celebrity - especially recording artists - is desirability. You see them you want to French meat them. Be it Patsy Kensit or Madonna (or Kelly Rowland). then you want to divorce them. Be you Liam Gallagher or Guy Ritchie.

You should have read the small print.

Monkey’s Paw

This weeks MVP

Because a peek behind the curtain will expose the magician as charlatan.

Morning and 12p is gleeful that 9 boys are left. He’s full of confidence. He ribs London about his hair. Note to 12p: in a house full of freaks you’re the weirdo.

Best friends Sinister and Chi Chi are irritable with each other. That’s what a girl can do – show you who your friends are.

Challenge time. As with all the object is to win a date with Daisy. As with last week it’s a variation of a Rock of Love challenge.

Lame.

They have to cover nursery rhymes.

6 Gauge London and Sinister are designated team captains because they’re all in bands back home. Commence with the schoolyard pick.

Does 6 Gauge think it’s an iron man contest?

Sinister shuns Chi Chi. It’s strategic. It’s spiteful.

Rehearsals over they head into The Knitting Factory.

Inappropriate?

There is however a budgetary logic to this; nursery rhymes are public domain.

“I feel like I’m in a transsexual biker

bar with all the make up and crap

these guys are wearing.”

You aint seen nothing yet.

London’s team – the Daisy Blades win.

So much for your strategy Sinister.

Let the dating begin.

The conversation strolls into a stuttering London. He doesn’t want to lie and he doesn’t want to be cagey. He reluctantly talks about his unfortunate living arrangements.

Uncomfortable.

Especially as Daisy doesn’t appear to be interested. She’s more interested in looking like a somebody.

“I personally had the Gibson showroom

shut down for you guys.”

Daisy Daisy. You couldn’t shut down your flaps.

A musician without an instrument is like a stripper in a sleeping bag. London had to sell his guitar to keep from starving so (regardless of the corporate sponsorship) he’s grateful for his gift.

Emotional honesty coupled with emotional intelligence has no place on television.

Daisy has noticed the cooling between Chi Chi and Sinister. She doesn’t want to come between two friends. Just by waking up in the morning a woman can come between father and son. Leave them to it Daisy. They’ll learn.

These lads are not antagonistic toward each other au contraire they’re complimentary. They seem like genuinely decent guys. Daisy chooses Cage for 1on1 time causing London to have a fit of emotional immaturity.

That’s more like it.

Alone with Daisy Cage bares his past. It’s tragic. Social Services tackle. Yet despite the abject horror of his childhood emerged a champion athlete.

Confiding your life to the woman you love is communion but if she doesn’t love you its kamikaze.

She’ll throw it in your face.

Dates over and it’s time to head back to the mansion. London’s still peeved. The limo ride ends with Daisy crying in her bedroom and London declaring he’s going home.

He’s not joking.

It’s like a Mexican soap opera.

Morning and 12p is full of confidence. He ribs Flex about his face. Daisy gathers them all together. Since Team Chip & Daisy wore make up at the challenge she sends them off with the Rat for a professional make over.

(Before)

Inside the mansion Daisy wants to play Truth or Dare.

“I’ve never played Truth or Dare

with 6 other guys.”

Thankfully it ends in tears and not a punch up. London storms off after another Daisy boo boo.

Methinks London is beginning to realise what he should have already known if he watched TV.

Daisy is a blithering idiot.

Bloggers and Bloggites. I have cracked the whore code. Daisy de la Hoya is American for Jodie Marsh.

In Flavor of Love Big Rick was a big hit. So Flav cut his lines in season 2 and 3. Brett learnt from this. Big John never had any lines. I Love New York was different. Sister Patterson was second billing – a genuine co-star.

The Rat has an advantage over all three prior sidekicks. He’s in the business. He’s been in the business for over 20 years. Yet while Sister Patterson flourished by bringing an added element to New York the Rat is nothing more than a flunky.

He doesn’t want to see Daisy hurt.

¿What?

A man devoid of charisma character and credibility.

Daisy seeks out London. She essentially begs him to stay and tells him she’s going to offer him a chain tonight.

The eliminations.

“I didn’t win the challenge that was a music

challenge. Daisy’s favouring a guy who wants

to leave and I’m starting to have a little

problem with Chi Chi. But…”

(After)

“You never want to see a guy that big

with nipple rings wearing a shirt like

that. I was scared for my life.”

Cage gets the first chain. It’s a sympathy vote buddy. Flex is beginning to realise 12p is a contender and Sinister is ever more jealous of Chi Chi.

She said she was going to offer London a chain.

He refuses it.

That’s four men now who have walked out since episode 2. In two seasons not a single man walked out on New York (was Pretty a man?). Vh1 should scrap any idea of a second season and greenlight ‘The A-Bomb of Love’. Until then read Ricky Robot’s musings on Charm School 3. It’s the best thing online bar the visual broadcast.

No one can pull my postings.

Next week on Daisy of Love: