Thrill Fiction: I Love Money 2 Recap

Saturday 9 May 2009

I Love Money 2 Recap

The Rating List

TV isn’t supposed to be this good. After 14 episodes the end has left me in withdrawal. I’ll have to accept it’s over after the reunion.

When I first saw the cast of I♥$2 I had misgivings: What’s she doing there? Why is he here? What about Bootz? Where’s Buckeey? However the assembled all-starlets came through.

Most. Not all.

This final rankings was judged with one criterion: Entertainment!

Some of them shouldn’t have turned up - they were that dull. Others played the game but were not smart while the rest are star quality. They may not (or may) have a discernable talent but they posses at least as much charisma as anything outside the Hollywood elite.

One size does not fit all in entertainment so I’m going to divide the jilted loving money grubbers into three divisions. It’s not like cinema – the good the bad and the ugly – it’s a lot like class; the trash the wannabes and the celebreality.

‘Cos I’m not here to make friends.

BORING

Onix looks the part – clean cut good looks and speaks perfect English. So why did he offer to throw a challenge when no one asked him to? Turns out the challenge happened to be boxing. He’s an ex boxer. It gets worse. His opponent was Prancer. A girl.

He didn’t tie her up in the ropes.

You sir are the Dead Last Loser.

Tamara: The highlight of 201. We weren’t laughing with you honey.

Bonez: He had no choice but to go in the box in 207 but he did make a power move in 204. Nice guys should be on Children’s TV.

Cali’s not a follower she’s a cult member. She flip flopped back stabbed was tongue tied and committed game suicide by going in the box when she didn’t have to. All because she wanted to be with the bullies. A girl with one facial expression and one corresponding brain cell.

Does she use it to apply make up?

Leilene: Someone should write a song about her. You weren’t made for this kind of game love. It was nice watching you though.

T-Weed: Aka Tweed aka Tweedledee aka Tweedledumber. He was entertaining but he blew it when he started to think. If he had the wherewithal he’d be a con artist. Worth $100million.

FUNNY PECULIAR OR FUNNY HA-HA?

MILF: A lost soul like Leilene but no songs should ever be written about her. A rap perhap. Parental discretion etc.

20 Pack: The sole member of the Pretty Boy Alliance. Strategically he wasn’t that bad – in 201 he gave up all his power to Frank.

Myammee: A pain in the arse for screencaps. She’s got one more facial expression than Cali. But she’s cuter. And she can dance.

Prancer: The best looking girl in the house. Pre op.

Earlier in the season I noted her lust for Craig. At the end of the season she confirms it.

I’m not the kind of guy to say I told you so.

Frenchie: La meilleure fille de regard dans la maison. Opération de poteau.

Heat: Narcissistic moronic hilarious. Two for two re girls and seasons. What’s not to love or laugh about this guy?

PAPPARAZZI BAIT

Buddha: Ladykiller (Leilene MILF Saaphyri New York) and man killer (Frank the Entertainer). While Buddha was on the show the stress tension and electricity generated was enough to power a new franchise.

I Hate Buddha

20 girls locked in a luxury mansion somewhere in LA compete for the heart of a man who doesn’t think they’re good enough (remove all sharp implements before filming).

Tailor Made: Watching a man with no backbone outgame a gang of bullies was TV gold. Even though it was that same backbone that had him lose to a girl.

TFi: Hoopz is a supergirl.

Becky Buckwild: A high spot for a low life. I have contention with this one however she does posses natural wit. The funniest person in the house her funniest moment was her exit.

It: He gets it. This television thing. His character construct got him from I♥NY2 to I♥$2 to third place. Alas either the character is too well constructed or is based on Kwame.

Frank The Entertainer: His Interview Segments were the best. His stomping round the house was the 2^nd best. He’s 2-4-2 (girls and seasons) and since he’s not in lock up he’s the next big celebreality thing.