Friday, 12 June 2009

Big Brother 10 UK Day 7

Everyone knows who Hulk Hogan is. Does anyone know Jesse ‘the Body’ Ventura? In the 80 and 90s these two wrestlers hated each other. To paraphrase - Jesse was always bothered by Hulk. Hogan wasn’t bothered by Jesse.

Jesse retired from wrestling and went on to star in Predator and The Running Man. In 1998 he became governor of Minnesota, USA, finally beating Arnold at something.

In November 2007 Hulk Hogan’s wife, Linda, filed for divorce after 24 years of marriage.

War is long. Battles are short.

Choose your battles wisely Sophia.

Man of the Match

Choose your enemy wisely Sophia.

Day 4

Sophia is not being strategic as she Saffia-bashes to Benazir, she’s being a bitch. Why anyone would try to recruit Benazir for anything is anti-logic. The woman gives the best rendition of a sloth outside of the Amazon.

Rodrigo opines Sophia is argumentative. It’s not a criticism as such. He thinks it’ll make her a good housemate. She hasn’t been argumentative with him yet.

Sophia 2009. Alex 2008. Charley 2007. Those who don’t see the pattern are like those who deny the holocaust. Endemol go out of their way to cast harridans – on the proviso they’re black. This is diametrically opposed to their casting and portrayal of white English women – Sophie 2009. Rachel 2008. Samanda 2007.

There’s much to be said about this. There’s nothing been said in the mainstream media. TFi will devote a post on the subject imminently.

Back to our regular programming;

Sophia is still at it; bitching about Saffia’s ‘betrayal’. The treachery was Saffia not choosing Sophia to compete in the ‘elf ‘n’ safety tasks two days ago. Rodrigo Angel and Noirin are trapped in listening distance and Noirin does engage her. As in what on earth did Saffia do wrong?

The self-righteous shouldn’t have to explain themselves because they end up talking Sophia.

The BB house isn’t big enough to avoid a loudmouth. Saffia sits in the circle and a mini eruption ensues. Everyone gets involved and nothing is solved. The marker, however, has been drawn.

It’s downtime before the first public vote and the inevitable ‘who do you fancy?’ thread commences. Dogface tells Saffia and Halfwit she really likes black men. I don’t know what Halfwit is nodding for.

Sophia shows foreign student Sree the booty dance. When she’s not being a bitch the little spitfire is being a sexy. Siavash joins in and shows Sophia the belly dance.

Our girl is having none of it. That’s not belly dancing.

Don’t tell me nothing. ‘Cos I go to all loads

of places. Arabic places.”

Ah. Sophia.

Halfwit fancies Dogface. “So did you always want to be a glamour model then?


Dogface wanted to be a nurse until she found out she didn’t like blood. Then she thought of an easier path as a trolley dolly but she doesn’t like flights. What’s a 20 year old to do?

Tits oot for the lads.

It’s a living. She should be respected for it.

Angel chastises Siavash for constant swearing. It makes me think she hasn’t been in this country long. Mother Russia is cracking up.

The public vote Benazir out and everyone gets their suitcases. Siavash’s wardrobe is Michael Jackson at his height. Charlie can’t wait to try some on.

There’s nothing wrong with booze. It’s the demons who drink it.

Charlie says it wasn’t him. He’s a liar and a thief. Looks like he’s a bully too – when it comes to 4’ 11’’ women. But he’s gay. So that’s alright then.

The blondes talk boys.

So Dogface fancies Cairon. Cairon fancies Dogface. And Dublin. And anything in a size 10. He’s got 3 months to screw it up.

Day 5

The entire house, pool and sitting room, is now open. The game proper has begun.

Sree is funny when it comes to self awareness. He has none. I tend to give allowance to those who speak English as a second language. There’s a propensity to misuse words.

BB: Sree who are you particularly getting on with in the house?

"Everybody is loving me. You know?"

If only you knew.

Halfwit really is going after Dogface. He regales her with stories of his privileged childhood. From his boarding school where his parents dumped him when he was nine where he had to get up at 7am and take singing lessons before breakfast.

Boring. Sophie wants to know if they used the cane.

“I’ve been a naughty girl sir.”


Mother Russia is getting a crash course in what it means to be English: she’s sitting with a group of her fellow housemates as they slag off those that aren’t present – Sree and Halfwit. If you want to live in this country you’ve got to adapt to our ways love.

Mother Russia is going to crack.

Poor Freddy really is a halfwit. The natives are restless and he prepares salad. Marie Antoinette said let them eat cake. This lot wouldn’t mind cake but they’re up in arms about salad.

Siavash is beginning to distinguish himself as a gentleman and a diplomat in dealing with Angel, Sophia and now Freddy. Kind words of advice and support. First impressions huh?

My mistake from day 1 - Kris is from the midlands. The nearest housemate to my little piece of England is Dogface Sophie. Sophie. Freddy sings to her. She laughs at him.

Has anyone watched the Australian film Restraint?

What has Saffia unleashed? Charlie and Kris are turning into right bullying bitches. Sree still thinks they’re his friends. Meanwhile Saffia confesses to Lisa she fancies Kris. I can’t see him as the new uncle type.

Boredom kills. Drink kills boredom. Some of the girls decide to swap a token for booze. They’ve only got 5 left. They’re really meant for hot water, hair dryers… Booze sounds good to Karly. Not to Lisa. No one asked her. She kicks off.

They basically ‘yes’ her to silence. Except Sophia who, can in hand, eggs her on. Shut up Sophia. Karly has an idea: Dress Up Night. The theme? Moulin Rouge.

I like Karly.

Siavash, Cairon and Freddy gather at the pit stop and have a chivalrous concourse pertaining to whom they’d like to copulate with. In this particular order

However Sree is no gentleman. He makes a girl cry.

A bit of an anus is Sree. He basically called Karly a slut. Karly tells Cairon. Cairon’s not happy.

I’ve also notice how he likes to paw the girls.

Turns out the Indian Casanova snores.

Another strike against you Sree. From hero to zero.

Day 6

It’s nominations day! The start of a 3-day climax to the end of the BB week!

By alphabetical order

Angel nominates Dogface because she’s a bore and Sophia because she’s not.

No wonder they lost the cold war.

Cairon nominates Sree and Charlie. Charlie’s turn and he pretends to be upset with the whole process then nominates Sophia with gusto. Oh and Halfwit.

Sophie nominates Charlie. She sees through him too. Her second nomination is Sree.

Tory boy Freddy is sick of politicking and toadying.

Sree is a fool.”

Well said. He nominates Lisa for afters.

Karly nominated Freddy and Marcus. Kris chose Freddy and Sophia. Lisa nominates Freddy.

It’s reciprocal. They don’t like each other. She also nominates Karly because despite being a lesbian she’s sick of the t&a show.

Pish. It’s about the booze token.

Marcus nominates Lisa because she comes off as mercenary (to him yes, but not to the viewers).

His second nom is Sree. He’s noticed the perving too.

Noirin nominated Freddy and Sophia. Rodrigo nominates Caron and Siavash.

If you kill a twin the other one dies – 12p

Saffia delivers the coup de grace;

Sophia. Oh and Marcus. Apparently he’s aggressive.

Siavash is next.

Charlie for taking the mick whilst wearing his clothes and Freddy for politicking – his friendliness is fake.

Sophia flails against the inevitable.

She nominates Saffia. And Noirin. See what happens when you backchat the self righteous.

Sree must think the British public are mugs. He’s pretending to be upset then enthusiastically nominates Sophia. Next on his list is Marcus for the same reason: argumentative. Is that a new word for him?

Angel, Kris and Rodrigo received no nominations but I’m surprised at the rest of the results. Sophia yes but Halfwit Freddy? They received 6 each. That’s 12 of a possible 28. That’s unpopular in a house full of strangers.

Choose your enemies wisely Sophia. Saffia now has a voting bloc and is the most powerful player in the house. Her VT makes more sense now.

Nominations over and Rodrigo blows up at Angel. She goes to the bogs to cry.

Russians have feelings too. Once again Lisa placates her. Good girl.

Cairon enjoys a different kind of water works.

He’s got 12 weeks to screw it up.

You’ve got no chance mate.

Big Brother gathers the campers for a task. It’s an opportunity for Sophie and Sree to have a spat. Sree is fast becoming a genuine evil bastard. Or rather he’s quickly letting the world in on that.

He plays the martyr, laments in the bedroom and has people fawn all over him. The people being Saffia’s club. He wants in. How can he get in? Have an argument with their enemy.

Little does he know.

He’s either next on their list or they’ll keep him around as their bitch. The gimp look will suit him.

Siavash tries to make the peace. Sree in his wisdom rebuts him. Hey Siavash, some people don’t want to be saved.

It’s late. Most of the house is in bed. Sree’s both lecherous and toadying.

You don’t got it like that boy.

Day 7

The nominees are announced.

TFi: Tonight’s eviction and Saffia’s walkout will be covered in Sunday’s update. By which time I hope Sophia will be bitching her story to The People and Sree will be the anti-Shilpa Shetty.

Read more Thrill Fiction: It’s Not Real! It’s Television.

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