Tuesday 16 June 2009

Daisy of Love 107

Do you know how many people have given up on this show? Well it’s time to come back because in the scheduling of television humdrum there is a person who can make even a Daisy look good.


Daisy Blooms

Ah. Fox.

This week’s MVP.


To be fair it looks like fun hanging in the Daisy of Love shack.

Until you remember why you’re there. And who’s there with you.

Some of the guys like Big Rig have never tried it on with a stripper before. He’s putting it all on the line like an impulsive compulsive at The Sands. Imagine if you were trying it on with a bird and Gilbert Grape was your competition. He’s not getting the action because he’s retarded, he’s getting the action because he’s a sneaky lying bastard.


Oh and because he’s hotter than you.

Fox is definitely the guy everyone is

gunning for right now but the funny

thing is he’s too dumb to realise it.”


There’s a marker on this dude. He can’t fight. He can’t think. What’s he good for?

12p didn’t get a date because he won the Hoya hypocrite cage fight, he got a date because he lost. Hey it’s Daisy of Love not Daisy of logic.

I’m taking 12p to a sexy hot lingerie store.

Because I like to play dress up. I like to

role play.”


I’ll give you a safety word love.

You what?


Chi Chi is the brainy twin Sinister the talented one. With tonight’s eliminations on his mind Chi Chi plots to get someone – anyone – out of the house.

Soft target.


Fox is always on the phone. Cats, dogs and a-holes are constantly ringing up asking for him. What if Chi Chi were to say to one of them that Fox has been sent home because Daisy found out that he has a girlfriend? Maybe the caller would inadvertently blurt out the beans about Wolverina.


It’s not genius but it just might work.


Flex is onto them. He knows they’re up to something and he wants in. He goes after the weaker link.

With Big Rig on board that’s the whole house against Fox right now.

Right now 12p is otherwise engaged.

12p wants to open up to Daisy. He hates his name because it was given to him by another chick. He wants her to call him Dave.


This inspires Daisy to share her secrets.

I’m a very complicated person.”


Daisy. You’re a simpleton. Especially if you believe 12p when he’s champagne drunk whilst wearing women’s size zero underpanties.


Even a perverted date like theirs has to come to an end.


In Daisy’s boudoir.

Hey! What’s Sinister doing in there?


The talented Sinister wrote a (good) song for The Hoya and wants to play it to her. So much for the Rat rule on musicians. G’night 12p. He aint sweating tho’.

I don’t know what Sinister’s going to do

right now but to top a date like the one

me and Daisy just had he better have

like midgets and fire dancers.”

There were no midgets and fire dancers but you remember this guy? 51 Minds don’t want us to forget him.


You can’t forget 12p. After his super sexed up date he parades about the house like a monkey at mating season.

Booze will do that to you. G’night 12p.


Daisy isn’t done though. She’s a busy girl. There’s a sit down meal with the Rat as lady-in-waiting.

Sinister and Flex aren’t invited so they take sentinel over the phone.


They’re gunning for you Fox.

Fox: “You’re not right for Daisy.”


Ah Fox. Why start an argument?

Fox is definitely the guy everyone

is gunning for right now but the funny

thing is he’s too dumb to realise it.”


Daisy, the Rat and Chi Chi pepper him if he has a girlfriend. Fox is on the ropes as usual. He’s a moron, a liar and now there’s a phone call.

Girl: “Hi. Is Daniel there?


It’s Wolverina.

Smooch your way out of that one Fox.


He does. In a manner of Fox speak.

First he pretends not to know who it is.


Wolverina: “This is your girlfriend Jenna.”

Then he accuses her of cheating on him, curses her out and dumps her.


Fox: “We’re over”.

Watching his little simple mind spin

around like a top dude. It was the best.”


But you never know with Daisy.


The Rat grills Fox. It’s harder to convince a lie to someone who doesn’t think you’re Johnny Depp.


Er… who woke up 12p?

Flex, then Big Rig go off: throwing stuff, kicking stuff, going ghetto. Threats are made.

If these guys don’t cool down they may

be going home instead of Fox. And that

is not what we want to happen right now.”


Pre eliminations the Rat checks in on Daisy. He assumes its obvious Fox is going home. He’s only human damnit.

I just feel like maybe everyone just

wants to jump to conclusions and

like it’s all a big misunderstanding.”


There are those who wondered why Brett chose Amber over Daisy. They don’t wonder no more.


Time to eliminate.

Daisy calls out Fox as a liar. Then Ricky calls him a “pathetic little bitch”.

I think I’m in trouble for eliminations tonight.”


The Rat calls out Flex and Big Rig for loosing it. 12p asides it might be Big Rig who gets the big boot. Daisy asserts herself (gasp!) in lucid English (gasp again!).


On Daisy of Love de la Hoya gets to make the cut regardless of what the potentials and the Rat think. Even if that cut is unpopular. She wants affirmation from all they’ll behave themselves if Fox stays.


¿What?


Queen of the rented manor. Their balls nurtured Flex and Big Rig acquiesce. Now you sound like New York Daisy.

Fox after having a conversation with your

girlfriend I want to know why you think

you should stay in this house.”


Fox is not good with direct questions. Or honesty.

Get the Fox out.”


Now you even look like New York.

In real life you don’t find out someone’s playing you for a fool until you’ve been played for a fool. And she didn’t drop a tear. I feel like cheering.

I am definitely glad that Fox is gone. But

what’s really funny is the ass kicking

that his girlfriend is gonna give him

when he gets home.”


Does all this mean this show has turned the corner? Can it rise like a phoenix from the stomach of the shark?


Next week on Daisy of Love:

It’s a food challenge.


Lame.

Read more Thrill Fiction: Leilene Reads Thrill Fiction

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