Sunday, 20 September 2009

I Love Money 101

Imagine spending up to 30 days in Huatulco, Mexico at a $19million mansion and the chance to win $250k. Imagine sharing said mansion with Hoopz.

Midget Mac. Where did it all go wrong?

Keeping It Real Stupid

This week’s MVP

because (the) size (of the brain) does matter.

The all-starlets know the drill. Some know each other from TV and assorted drinking dens.

They dash into their new home and commandeer bedrooms. Alliances are quickly formed.

Megan and I can definitely be Barbie twins.

She’s my new best friend.”

I’m absolutely sticking close to Pumkin.

She’s my only true ally in this house.”

In the master bedroom

12 pack and I have the Party Boy alliance.”

I am so happy to see Heather. I love her.

We totally hit it off on Rock of Love 2.”

12 pack. He’s hot and all. I mean come on.

He’s like the male version of me.”

An alliance based on sexual attraction has the future of a celebrity marriage based on sexual attraction?..

I guess Heat and Destiney have a little

thing I guess going right now. Hopefully

he’ll be good to her. Otherwise if he’s

not I’m coming for Destiney.”

This alliance has been intact since I Love New York.

The Stallionaires

Not everyone is in an alliance.

I initially had trouble finding a room.”

I got no bed. Can I sleep with you?

Boston kinda creeps Megan and I out so

we don’t want him in our room.”

Those mean girls hide the spare bed.

They’re hiding it from Stevie Wonder?

Craig has them gather for the rules then everyone has to tell him what they’d love to do with the money.

I need this money. This way I can be roaring

down the Sunset Strip in a Ferrari and

I’ll be living the life of a true pimp.”

If Boston wins this money man you gonna

have - you gonna see more blow up dolls in

Boston’s house than you ever seen before.”

Because of the alleged porn career I

got a lot of negative publicity.”

Alleged? I would insert link here but Thrill Fiction is a family blog.

Well I definitely want to get a boob job.”

Saggy boobs suck.”

Pumkin have you met Megan?

At least mine are real bitch.”

If I looked 40 when I was 20, disgusting,

and had saggy boobs I’d be miserable too.”

Craig asks Pumkin about her relationship with Mr Boston. Is she really (still) going out with him?

In related news;

First thing: moving out of my parent’s house.”

Heather wants to get rid of her tattoo (somewhere else in celebreality world so does Risky. The Real Chance of Love 2 girls should take notes).

I am a professional dominatrix.”

Check out 12p’s face.

One year later check out 12p’s face.

How would 250 thousand change Midget Mac’s life?

A journalist once asked Georgie Best what he spent all his money on. George said, “I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.”

Time for the first challenge. It’s to choose 2 team captains. With 17 starlets and with the teams being even it means someone is going home. Tonight.

Craig hands out a box of beachwear; bikini tops and bottoms for all.

Reality TV exists to humiliate. Then there are those who have no shame.

There are plenty of ways to start an argument – like Brandi C asking a drunken midget why he isn’t wearing women’s underclothes.

Midget Mac completely refuses to put his

swimsuit on. I’m thinking like – oh here we

go. We got a dude think he too cool."

I would tear you apart.”

Brandi C tries to intervene.

This is what happens when you take the ‘hood to Huatulco.

I don’t know what Midget Mac’s strategy is…

Neither does he.

My very first post was I Love Money 203 – the one where Leilene left a comment. I decided then not to go into details about the challenges. That's not what these shows are about. What you want to know is who won.

Midget Mac disqualified himself.

That doesn’t bother Megan.

Heather is old, insecure, washed up. Maybe

like in the strip club she was the hottest girl

but in this house she’s not. So it’s

kind of devastating.”

Chance disqualified himself.

That doesn’t bother Megan either.

Watching Rodeo pull wads of cash out

of her crotch looked like she was used

to having something down there.”

Hoopz won. Whiteboy came second. We have team captains. Midget Mac had better go kiss a white boy’s arse or he can kiss Mexico goodbye.

There are only a few hours before the captains pick their teams at eliminations. Time for everyone to scramble.

Time to play the Jew card.

Whiteboy is not an orthodox Jew

It might (not) work with Whiteboy but what’ll work with Hoopz?

The Boston Charm

Pumkin and Hoopz are buddies from Flavor of Love. Which means Megan’s only hope is Whiteboy.

Guys are always stupid but I think stupider

when there are hot girls around.”

Pumkin rats out Megan and Brandi C for hiding the bed. Looks like Mr Boston has a room with a hot girl and a pornochick.

It’s not the Boston Charm. It’s the

Boston creep.”

There’s free booze flowing downstairs. Mr Boston asks Midget Mac if he’s nervous about eliminations.

Looks like he’s been nervous three times.

The Entertainer has a ploy. Someone’s about to be eliminated and he doesn’t want it to be him.

Everyone had a speedo on. Everyone

except you.”

Rodeo sees what's going on and tries to rehab the midget.

Are you kidding me?

Let me get a beer!

It’s time to get rid

after this drink.

Captains! Pick your teams.

Hoopz is the only winner from a previous show and she’s the first winner on this show. Here’s her Gold Team.

While Hoopz gets first pick it’s Whiteboy who gets to pick last

Green Team

which means it’s his decision who goes home.

Shame. Your baby mama could have used the diaper money.

But in the long run I’m going to need someone

with mental stability. You know what I mean?

My man Midget Mac is a little bit - he - you

know. He wide open.”

Next week on I Love Money:

Read more Thrill Fiction: I Love Money 102

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