Big Brother 10 UK Day 36

Day 36

Freddy: “Do you know which group of people are the most deceitful by far?”

Siavash: “No.”

Freddy: “Beautiful women.”

Man of the Match

Siavash feels betrayed by Noirin.

Marcus: “It’s not that. It’s more she puts her paranoia above anything else.”

How insecure is a beautiful woman? Writers are expected to pen their own epitaphs, actors can play Hamlet’s ghost and athletes know the clock is ticking… A beautiful woman is dependant on her plastic surgeon.

Eyes without a face.

Noirin hasn’t a clue of the vitriol directed against her outside of the house. Beautiful black women - and successful black men - are the psychotic target of a racist culture. Ask Naomi Campbell.

The fallout from the blow out continues. Freddy explains to Noirin that Siavash was trying to help her. Noirin doesn’t accept this. She’s right not to.

When someone comes to you and says I know something you don’t you would be wise to verify it. If you have no reason to trust the person it could be they’re trying to exert false influence on you.

Now why would anyone want to exert influence over a beautiful woman?

Siavash has got a girlfriend. No doubt Noirin is better looking. He would like her as his girlfriend but he’s too cool to try it on. He knows he’s not her type. That exotic Iranian love guru gimmick may work on Australians, eastern Europeans and perhaps even southerners but black chicks will just laugh at ya.

Siavash is a lying bastard.

Whatever Karly and Kris or anyone else said they didn’t call Noirin a bunny hopper though I’m sure they said something to that effect. It didn’t have to be gossip. It could have been an observation. Siavash made it sound like they had it in for her then denied he said it was them.

Kris and Lisa discuss last night’s events. It seems the row has blown up in Noirin’s face. Kris thinks that Siavash is alright – that it’s Marcus Freddy and Noirin that are the ‘other group’.

Noirin is getting no love from nowhere so she runs to her lovelorn teddy bear. You’re good for something Marcus.

Siavash thanks Freddy for standing up alone for him. He didn’t have to get involved.

Freddy: “Noirin wanted me to get involved – on her side…”

He laughs incredulously.

That act of friendship and solidarity has given me pause. I respect you for it Halfwit. Not even Marcus stood up against Noirin and she solicited him the same way she did Freddy.

Marcus suggests Noirin apologise to Siavash for dropping him in it. She refuses. In one night Noirin has managed to manoeuvre herself into the least popular member of the house. I remember how she was with Angel and Rodrigo and I hope Marcus doesn’t get what he wants.

Karly downloads in the diary room. She mentions Halfwit hasn’t bugged her all week. She wants Marcus to go. That is bad news for Noirin because Karly has always nominated these two. I suspect her next noms will be Marcus and Noirin on account of the flare up.

Marcus: “You see that’s the kind of thing that could make you win the whole lot.”

Freddy: “Really (laughing)?”

Marcus: “That was true heroism.”

You what? The ripple effect of Halfwit’s stand is seeping through the house and possibly the watching nation. What’s good for Halfwit is bad for Noirin.

TFi: Rodrigo stood up for Angel against Noirin but the flare up wasn’t as bad so the boy got no kudos.

She does have form that Dublin.

Lisa’s noticed Freddy’s “getting brave again”. This does not sit well.

BB calls in Siavash. He has to be punished for mentioning nominations during the row. Stay tuned.

Noirin has another chat with Marcus – about Lisa.

Noirin: “Well you know the way Halfwit said that there was wun person that was instigating it all, she was killing off everybody?”

Marcus: “Yeah.”

Noirin: “And he said this was going to happen… and it’s happened every single week?”

Marcus: “Yeah. Because he’s right.”

Noirin: “Well how did he predict that?”

(TFi: Confirmation that Noirin is brain dead.)

Marcus: “Because he knows what Lisa’s like. You know, we’ve (Noirin and Marcus) had the same conversation as I’ve had with him and he’s seen it.”

There are stupid people who know they’re stupid and there are stupid people who are too stupid to know it.

Noirin is aghast at being isolated from both groups so she goes into damage control. She kisses Halfwit’s arse but in a I’m not kissing his arse way. The net result is ½ insults, ½ compliments, 100% cringe factor and lots of fake laughter. Marcus is silent. Freddy is amused.

Later Marcus, Noirin and Rodrigo kick a toy at each other in the manner of a football. Rodrigo the Brazilian can’t kick it. Noirin can.

Wow.

Noirin can play football?

Is it really manly to hate this girl?

Kris got evicted on Day 37.

This week is Big Brother’s 10^th anniversary. Five previous housemates from seasons past will each spend a day in the house and there’s the promise of new housemates.

You gotta give it to Channel 4.

Desperation as innovation.

Read more Thrill Fiction: Big Brother 10 UK Day 35

Big Brother 10 UK Day 35

Marcus Charlie Dogface Halfwit and Kris face eviction tonight.

My money’s on Marcus because as far as Noirin goes he’s the new Sree.

Day 35

Marcus and Kris discuss who’s going tonight. The consensus is anyone.

Marcus: They might think Sophie’s boring or something.

Kris: Yeah. Might think Soph hasn’t really done a lot.

Idle chatter.

The shopping task is in its second and final day. The theme is circus and these clowns fail miserably. Hungry bellies make good TV if you’re a Channel 4 exec. Expect the rows next week.

This week is not over.

In the bedroom Marcus asks Noirin who she thinks will go. It’s clearly playing on his mind. Noirin doesn’t know. That’s a cop out. She asks him who he thinks will go. Wow. Noirin. No balls no backbone.

Marcus thinks it’s between him, Halfwit and Kris (I think it’s between Marcus and Sophie – good looking girls never stand a chance in eviction votes but this time I think Marcus will pip her).

Noirin agrees. She thinks Sophie and Charlie will be fine. The beautiful Dublin is a fence sitter. Sophie however is appalled. Not Kris? Marcus isn’t sure about Sophie being ‘fine’.

Marcus: “They might think that she’s quiet hey? ‘Cos that’s what Kris said earlier on.”

He’s unconsciously playing devil’s advocate. His point s no one’s safe.

Sophie is well upset at being ‘quiet’. That’s a euphemism for boring. She whines to Karly and Rodrigo. Karly predicts it’ll be Marcus gone. She don’t like him for nowt.

Later Sophie whines to boyfriend Kris.

Kris: “I’ve never said that.”

Lisa spits venom at the absent Marcus. It prompts Sophie to go ‘northern’ and confront Marcus in the kitchen.

It’s sort of like an ambush. Marcus says he didn’t say it. Kris comes in and also denies it.

Lads you both said it.

I don’t believe either of them are lying – they don’t remember is all. Marcus takes a backstep and concedes he might have said it. Good move to keep the peace; bad move strategically. If he’s in the house Saturday morning he’s up for nomination (again) next week.

Evening falls and Siavash, Marcus, Halfwit and Noirin eat and chat. Marcus talks about the two groups in the house. Fence sitter Noirin is what the American reality shows call a floater. She floats from one group to the other. The boys point this out to her. She claims she’s friends with all housemates.

When there’s a war you pick a gun and you pick a side.

By night time a token is exchanged for booze and tongues are loosed. Siavash tells Noirin that Karly and Kris call her ‘rabbit’ – she hops from group to group. Freddy and Marcus have never heard this. Marcus however thinks that the slur came from ‘another source’.

Noirin is upset. She should be. No one likes being slagged off behind one’s back. She confronts the ‘other group’.

They look astounded.

Cue huge row.

Siavash comes in and row gets loud.

It was supposed to be a confidential conversation Noirin.

Siavash lies that he said it then threatens to out Noirin re the things she has said. She calls his bluff. He refuses – due to his morals. Charlie tells him to out her – if he can.

Everyone is yelling.

Rodrigo stays out of it – in disgust.

Marcus stays out of it in disgust at Noirin for betraying Siavash’s confidence.

Freddy yells at Noirin for doing so.

Lisa keeps quiet.

Siavash is getting nominated next week.

Noirin is now firmly with the ‘other group’. It looks to me like Marcus and co tried to recruit her and she sold them down the river. Funnily enough this row might save Marcus. The public may view Lisa’s gang as bullies. I don’t. I think Marcus’ lot miscalculated and I think Noirin’s a dumbo coward. She may be part of Lisa’s gang but she’s the runt of the litter. In Marcus’ gang he would have protected her.

In this show was won on merit this show would be won already.

Read more Thrill Fiction: Big Brother Day 29

Big Brother 10 UK Day 29

Man of the Match

Because he has the balls.

DAY 29

After passing the shopping task (I’m gobsmacked) next week’s food budget is a luxury £385 + £20 for alcohol. As per normal practise Siavash calls in Sree the calculus to do the sums. Marcus amongst others is already at work choosing the items.

Pitting Sree and Marcus in the same place and time equals deluded love rivals at war. Marcus mocks Sree’s accent. Sree intimates racism. Rodrigo backs him up.

Be aware; a foreigner with an accent is in a vulnerable position.

What was Marcus’ intent? To insult. To humiliate. As is the case when anyone mocks an accent be it scouse, brum, Geordie, cockney, jock, taffy. Mockery is rarely done with affection.

I believe the mockery was without racist intent.

The shopping list is over but not the argument. It boiling points in the garden. Sree’s an oil spill. The boy is pollution in that house.

Marcus: Let’s see if you’re so brave when we’re outside.

Sree: What you going to do to me outside? I will put you in a prison and you will eat the dog food for 10 years big time.

BB calls in Marcus. He denies his words were threatening.

Bulls hit.

BB then calls him up on imitating Sree’s accent. Marcus (rightly) blows up at them. This is Channel 4 who consistently mock black people’s ‘accents’ in the name of what they call ‘comedy’ and as a matter of course.

Be aware: the racist is a Channel 4 hypocrite.

They backtrack. A win for Marcus on that score.

It is a pyrrhic victory. C4/Endemol gives Marcus a formal warning for threatening behaviour (how does their warning system work? Is that a yellow card?). It doesn’t matter. From this point he has his cards marked by the editing process.

In the bedroom Freddy thinks Siavash has the gay ‘gene’.

You what?

Sexuality is determined by genes? I thought I fancied Kelly Rowland because she’s hot not because I’m programmed. Having said that now that she’s not selling records anymore I fancy Rhianna.

I need gene therapy.

Freddy the Halfwit is a delusional one. He thinks he’s ‘manly’, he believes in the gay gene and he’s a Tory.

Wait for the next election. Once his lot get in I’m looking for a country to claim asylum. Eire’s closer than London. They’ve also got hot chicks.

The vote is in and Sree’s out with a reported 85%.

My television feel like it’s been spring cleaned.

Channel 4 has lost their favourite so who are they going to back now?

Read more Thrill Fiction: Big Brother 10 UK Day 28

Big Brother 10 UK Day 28

DAY 25

Sree does not stop talking about Noirin. Everyone in his own power base is peeved with him excepted for Lisa. I wonder how long before the flock rebel against her. Kris has got Sophie in his pocket maybe Charlie too. In any case he’s ready to break with Sree.

The ‘gay’ conversation was bound to rear its head at some point; straights asking about the ins and outs about pick-ups on the gay scene. While Freddy boasts about his king of the clubs prowess Charlie keeps mute. When Siavash asks his experience he shuts the conversation down.

Good lad.

Mr President what’s it like being black?

The task today is extreme sports school day or as I like to call it the retards Olympics. Marcus is umpire and has to pick two team captains. Sree Siavash and Noirin volunteer.

Siavash and Noirin are captains.

Noirin gets first pick which means Siavash ends up with Sree.

Siavash: “We are happy with just three of us.”

You don’t have to be a prophet to predict the team without Sree won.

So team Noirin – Charlie, Lisa, Sophie, Rodrigo – get the party along with umpire Marcus. Sree goes into a sulk. He’s fishing for sympathy but what he’s doing is turning everyone against him. The English don’t like a sore loser.

In fairness to Sree he’s bitching about the snide comments from Marcus and Siavash. That said he should man up. His peers are ribbing him and he’s crying about it.

Wait.

Sree man up?

The party is a school disco theme. Welcome to paedophile Britain; where the adults dress provocatively as children – for a ‘bit of fun’.

What’s a pair of 20 somethings to do when others are partying? Try to exchange tokens for booze. Kris and Karly try it on.

You gotta try.

The next best thing is to prank the “plebs” (Siavash, Sree and Freddy). Kris tells them the deal is they can exchange all three remaining tokens for a token’s worth of booze. Siavash clocks on immediately. Sree’s in Sree world and Freddy goes halfwit crazy.

In his posh voice.

I suppose the induction into the aristocray is to talk down to others. He’s going to get nominated every week until the public put him out of his delusions.

Kris cooks and asks Freddy to wash up. Freddy refuses and Kris puts him down. In the way only a cool kid can put down a spineless knob. All this in front of Karly.

And the TV watching world.

After the party the housemates discuss him. Karly and Sophie slag him off, Sree remains neutral and Rodrigo doesn’t get involved. He’s as uncomfortable with this as Angel was.

Welcome to England.

DAY 26

Nomination Day

Charlie’s first pick is Freddy – he distances himself from the group apparently.

Do ya blame him?

Charlie’s second pick is Siavash: fissure along party lines.

Noirin’s sunning herself. Someone should tell her the reason white people tan is to get skin like hers. She has tattoos on the small of her back. Marcus likes.

Noirin: “I think it’s called a tramp stamp though.”

Or as I like to call it – the porno tailgate.

Dogface Sophie nominates with zero strategy: halfwit and Marcus.

It’s Freddy’s turn.

He nominates Sree. Pick a reason. And Lisa. For strategy and malice.

Karly chooses Halfwit and Marcus. I think that’s 3 weeks running for the same people. Don’t get on Karly’s bad side. Lisa noms Halfwit and Marcus. She has her targets. Marcus chooses Sree and Lisa – no suprises. Noirin picks Halfwit and…

Sree.

Hooray.

Rodrigo – the man with no game plan – noms Sree; for being an ass. Oh and Halfwit of course. A word about Rodrigo: he lives in Leeds not London as I previously wrote. He’s quite a decent lad is Rod.

He won’t win.

In the kitchen Marcus chats up Dublin. He thinks he isn’t but sorry Marcus you are. She tells him the strain of being ‘beautiful’ (Marcus’ word not hers). She wants people to see her through her personality.

TFi: Noirin love, a beautiful woman’s shelf life ends at 30. If you’re not hitched by then all you’ve got is middle aged men promising to leave their wives for you. In other news people will never see you through your personality. You’ve got none.

Siavash votes for Sree and Kris.

Kris?

Where’s the strategy?

Nominations are over before Sree gets to vote. The poor fool doesn’t know he’s up with 5 and Halfwit’s up with 7 (out of a possible 10). In any case he noms Marcus and… Noirin.

So much for Lisa orchestrating the vote.

Marcus was nominated 4 times. That does not bode well for him next week.

The things people will say and do for booze. Cue the nightly negotiation. Charlie and Kris go to the diary room. Charlie pleads he makes good TV when he’s drunk. Anything can happen.

Which is why they’ve limited the booze since fight night.

It works though. Sort of. Big Brother throws in an extra bottle of wine as per request which leads to more negotiations. Charlie and Kris consult Siavash. The proposal is they have the 4 bottles of wine and they forgo all booze the next three times.

He’s okay with it but has to check in with the girls.

They’re not okay with it.

Somehow Charlie blames Siavash for this. Charlie’s a spiteful bastard. That’s a nomination in advance.

With the booze imbibed some of the boys sit in the garden. Sree’s outnumbered in the enemy camp of Freddy, Siavash and Marcus. That doesn’t stop motormouth from issuing Siavash a challenge – race you the length of the garden.

For a can of lager hell yeah.

Guess who loses.

Guess who welches on the bet.

Sree wants to be a politician. He’s got the moral structure for it.

In the bedroom even Lisa tells Sree to honour his word.

Siavash makes it easy on him(self). Siavash uses psychology to taunt the egocentric low self esteem Sree.

Double or nothing.

This time the whole house is outside to watch.

Guess who wins.

Guess who bitches all the way to bed.

You just got yourself voted out pal. The English hate a sore loser.

DAY 27

It’s the shopping task – an exercise in TV tedium. Barring the sports day challenge – which pitted one team against another – there is no tension or drama in the tasks. However they are not the point of this show.

Sree’s job is to take orders of Italian ice-cream and relay them to Sophie. He cocks it up at the first opportunity. He’s a moron.

Karly gets to sing. Sing well that is. She looks quite fetching in her suit. She’s going to do better out of this than Sophie.

The nominations are announced and Siavash sounds like Sree – carrying on and making a tit of himself. Your time is next week mate.

Sree goes to the diary room. He’s genuinely shocked and saddened. Then he spoils it by blaming it all on Noirin.

Big Brother asks him who he thinks is going to stay.

Sree: Me.

Freddy imports his conversations with Marcus and Siavash while mouthing off to Kris. The house divide is growing bitter.

Sree screws up the next order. He’s failed his part of the task but it won’t have an effect on him personally.

He’ll be voted out Friday.

DAY 28

Freddy the halfwit has a blow up with Lisa. That’s a battle you can’t win son. You’re outgunned and outmanned. The housemates have sussed that thanks to Sree they’ve failed the ice-cream task. So they capitulate and eat the stock.

Good job.

Marcus and Noirin have an hour to complete their tasks. To oil paint a ‘masterpiece’. Theirs will be compared against the efforts of a 6 year old showbiz brat.

All three paintings are done and I predict Noirin to lose. She’s got no artistic qualities whatsoever. Here comes an independent art critic (on his lunch break) to do a blind judgement on all three. In order to pass the task Marcus and Noirin have to place first and second.

The critic likes Marcus’. He knows which one is the child’s. He actually compliments Noirin’s.

Marcus gets first. Noirin second.

When did I turn on Noirin.

Freddy’s still at it – mothering people; “why don’t you like me?”

Pathetic.

He is the outcast and it’s getting ugly. Especially when it’s coming from Karly. In 4 weeks she hasn’t come across as vindictive. If she’s saying it then it’s for good reason.

Freddy you’re exasperating.

None of these people have lived with a toff before.

You gotta feel sorry for the late Princess Diana.

On Friday it’s Freddy vs. Jason Sree.

Read more Thrill Fiction: Big Brother Day 24

Big Brother 10 UK Day 24

Day 23

A kitchen is the hub of a family home but the hellmouth of a shared house. Sree’s doing the cooking and is liberal with the garlic. Cue a protracted argument.

Garlic can do that. The problem is Freddy bought it – he had to forgo biscuits to do so – for the whole house but thinks Sree is using too much.

Sree goes bananas. He flees to the bedroom for back up and specifically asks for Kris - the one guy who actively dislikes Freddy. Charlie goes along for effect.

As soon as it becomes clear where the problem is both Kris and Charlie agree with Freddy.

Freeze frame.

What they could have done but didn’t is pipe Sree down. As for Freddy, he was in the right but his tone is condescending. Having said that the lunatic Sree doesn’t realise what damage his epileptic fit is doing to him. His people – Kris more than others – are tiring of being asked to gang up on others.

Angel leaves and the house moves on.

BB drops the Friday night booze allocation. Sree and Lisa talk Noirin (and Marcus) while at the exact same time Marcus and Noirin talk Lisa (and Sree). Marcus is melting into a beautiful girl’s spell. Despite himself.

Sree goes into the diary room to whine about Noirin. It’s not often I feel sorry for the BB staff.

Day 24

Out in the garden Lisa leads the charge against Freddy.

Lisa: “100% he’s playing a game.”

Season 10 and people are still saying that?

It irks me when people accuse others – in this case Noirin re Freddy – of being intelligent. Why? Because he knows words of three syllables? Freddy hasn’t said an original thing since he got in the house.

Marcus, Rodrigo, Kris and Karly have all brought intellect to the table. Siavash, Lisa, Charlie and Sree work well with what they’ve got. Noirin and Sophie are fools. Freddy is an educated fool.

Lisa is resentful. Her plan to oust Angel worked but the blowback is Freddy’s still here. He’s getting too big for his boots she muses to her flock. It’s unfounded. It’s pure venom. It’s a signal for them to vote him next (this) week.

Freddy shares his thoughts in the diary room. He’s still racked with love jealousy over Sophie and Kris. Unfortunately for Freddy their’s is not a faux-mance ie fake for the cameras, theirs is a show-mance ie it won’t last beyond the house.

Unfortunately for Sophie.

Sree goes to Casanova Noirin in her bed. She drops a bomb in his lap.

Noirin: “I think sometimes people take advantage of you.”

Freeze frame.

He thought he was the (game) man.

Read more Thrill Fiction: Big Brother Day 22

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