Wednesday, 21 October 2009

I Love Money 105

$¼million was a lot of money in 2008. Such a cash injection can change anyone’s life. It’s worth playing for. It’s worth winning. That’s the goal. What’s the plan?

This week’s MVP

because although power corrupts but it also entices.

The Toastmaster

Last week saw the implementation of the 12p plan: infiltrate the opposing team and have the collaborators throw the challenge. Unfortunately for 12p it exploded in his he-man face. His Gold Team wanted Destiney gone yet he had her stay over Boston.

Guess what? Gold Team still want her gone.

12p didn’t listen. He’s a traitor. I really want to
talk to the Stallionaires because they’re strong
people. Good to have them on my side.”

Thus the Gold Team girls make their own power move.

This is what remains of 12p’s alliance.

You really know you like a girl when you
have to fart and you hold it in.”

Oh dear.

I’m a little uneasy this morning because I
feel like most of my team is against me.
And I’ve kind of felt this way since day 1.”

No. It’s been this way since you had a go at Chance.

Everyone knows why.

With Destiney as bullseye does it matter who’s going to be Green captain? No. So they choose Real.

Over at Gold Toastee is a little more subtle.

If we win I get to send someone from the
Green Team packing. But if we lose I get
to put the three traitors in the bottom.”

They don’t even know.

The challenge involves crying. Shedding tears. It’s the Crying Game. The of Love shows are notorious for their emotionally imbalanced contestants. In this challenge the first team to weep tears from all six members wins. Gold Team has an extra body.

I’m glad to see Hoopz sit out. It’s like, can
she even produce a tear?

but you’d need to fly in Brigitte Neilson for effect.

Green Team lose. Again.

What’s the opposite of scrambling? Whining. On the bus ride home Destiney wants to know who’s going to vote her in the box.

The Stallionaires.

A baby spits out its dummy. This is what a Destiney does:

I just feel like so many people in this house
hate me and they want me out of this
house and it just – it hurts my feelings.
I’m human you know.”

No you’re not.

My only hope of staying is reminding
Toastee I had her back and she
promised me that she’d have mine.”

Tonight is a non-elimination night. What do you do if you’re the most powerful chick in Huatulco, Mexico?

What do you do if you’re not?

The Entertainer has a plan.

I know.

He’s going to fake a fight between him and Destiney. She’s going to be upset and run to the girls for comfort. That way she’ll have something in common with them. They’ll welcome her into the ‘I The Entertainer’ club and think she’s no longer with him.

I Know.

Destiney thinks it’s a good plan.

I know.

If you’re not the most powerful chick in Huatulco, Mexico what do you do on a non-elimination night?

Oh and about that plan…

The next day is vault day. From hereon in Craig will stay inside the strong room with them to make sure there are no more Mr Bostons.

Poor Craig.

I decided to put myself in the box because
I couldn’t cry yesterday and I think I’m safe.”

So I didn’t shed a tear I will put
my own self in that bitch.”

I don’t know why Real is acting so confident
right now. There’s still a chance he’s going
home and if Toastee does the smart thing
and sends the strongest person home
he’ll be gone.”

I fell like a pimp. Being paymasters
pretty sweet in fact I think I’m the
Toastmaster now.”

Time for a power outing. Snorkelling is the fun of the day.

I’ve never snorkelled before. This is the coolest
thing I’ve ever done. It’s so beautiful. There’s
yellow fish. There’s black and white fish.
I hope there’s no sharks in this water.”

I’m starting to wish I never put
myself in that damn box.”

After his near death experience a sea-horse has to eat.

Toastee: “Do you (Destiney) have an
alliance with people in this house?

Destiney: “’Course I do.”

Destiney plays her trump card. Her only card.

She reminds Toastee of her quid pro quo promise to save her.

Wrong play.

Has anyone ever demanded something of you – and justified that demand by a guilt trip reminder of what she’s done for you? Calling in a favour doesn’t have to be antagonistic.

To bolster her point she throws Real under the bus.

Destiney. Your ass is out. Heat gone.
Boston gone. Now Destiney gone.
Stallionaires. We about to win
this whole thing.”

Back at the mansion The Entertainer wants to talk.

The Entertainer: “If you make that move
and Real is gone that would be a big,
big, big blow to their team.”


I’ll be making the biggest move in
the history if I send Real
home tonight.”

Oh. The power.

Toastee calls a Gold Team meeting. She’s the paymaster. She can do that.

Toastee: “The other night I wanted Destiney to
go home ‘cos I thought she was the strongest
out of the three. I think it’s obvious who’s the
strongest out of the three is.”

What the hell is she thinking?

What the censored is she thinking?

Uh-oh. Mutiny.

When the paymaster doesn’t do what the team want her to do… Didn’t Toastee learn anything from 12p’s mistake? Or is that what power does to you?

Real: “Man if I go home I’m a cry man.”

Cry baby.


Craig asks The Entertainer – if Destiney goes tonight will you go with her?


First cheque goes to the strong box filler.

Who stays? Who goes?

I just found out that Destiney and Toastee
had this little alliance from day one. So now
man I don’t know what to think.”

The smarter move for Toastee in my opinion
is to send Real home ‘cos he’s the stronger
person. If she sends me home then it’s
obvious it’s a personal vendetta
against me and The Entertainer.”

No. Just you.

Toastee: “Real I don’t like seeing you up
there sweating okay kid?

I knew Toastee wouldn’t let power corrupt her. Porn? Well that’s a different question.

Talking about the corrupt:

I don’t play dirty. I just don’t. So I think
that’s why I’m leaving so soon.”

Delusional. Soon to be a single parent.

I feel really safe right now that I’m in an
alliance with some of the strongest
players in this game.”

That’s how you pay the master.

Next Sunday on I Love Money:

Read more Thrill Fiction: I Love Money 106

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