The Walking Dead 104: Vatos

Vato: The word Mexicans use for homeboy(sic).

The Urban Dictionary

Not to be confused with the Hispanic street gang Vatos Locos.

knowgangs.com

400 years ago Guy Fawkes tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament. To celebrate his failure the British burn effigies atop bonfires every November 5^th. The fires burn at public gatherings and in private backyards to a firework display finale. Bonfire night aside throughout the year people use fireworks to celebrate a myriad of occasions: sporting events, the openings of restaurants, nightclubs, birthdays. Other countries celebrate with fireworks too. The fact is human beings are mesmerised by flashing lights in the night sky. Just like the zombies in George A Romero’s Land of the Dead 2005.

The Walking Dead is a fireworks display: all smoke no mirrors.

Monsters 2010 is an apocalypse-set film in the tradition of Cloverfield 2008. Whereas the latter positions itself in the horror genre the former is set firmly in drama. Monsters tells the story of two Americans stranded in Mexico who attempt to walk their way through the ‘infected zone’ back into the United States. In this apocalyptic world the characters have nothing left but time – and a survivalist’s urgency. It is a time to re-examine themselves. It is time not afforded to us in our world of capitalism and consumerism. There comes a tipping point in that time where the characters realise that this is the end of the world and all hope is gone. At the end of time will people gravitate to each other out of lust or despair?

The Walking Dead attempts to position itself as drama yet after more than three hours of broadcast television it has failed to establish tone. There is not a sense of static time or hopelessness. Rick Grimes’ quest seems to be leading to a point but post Armageddon all points are futile. The show does not convey this. Civilization would have to start over but these characters act like they’re waiting for a rescue. The series balances itself between horror and drama – Atlanta and the campsite – with no equilibrium. The last two episodes have seen the drama fail at camp. This episode sees the horror fail in Atlanta.

The fail is the writing. Time and again the program makers waste the pre credit sequence. Rather than establish the episode they signpost the climax – with a bludgeon rather than a blade; the conversation between two blonde women about fishing tackle is at best inane at worst sentimental. These two characters then expose the series as fraud. Where did that boat come from? Did a refugee carry it on their back whilst fleeing escaping flesh eating zombies? How long have these people been in camp because they act like this is the first time the sisters have caught fish. Yet the girls are lifelong amateur fishermen. They catch a bounty bigger than the Cornwall fishing quota.

Jim wanders off and occupies his time digging holes in the ground. That causes consternation amongst the campers. Apparently he’s scaring Lori’s son and Carol’s daughter. Notably his digging is not scaring Juan’s children. I guess the only time a white man scares them is when he wants to deport them. Nevertheless we must protect the (white) children so Shane handcuffs Jim to a tree.

Do not be deceived. This episode does not deal with the inevitable nervous breakdowns following Armageddon or even the camp dynamics. Jim’s ‘sunstroke’ is a setup for the conclusion. A society can be judged by the way it treats its mentally ill. How would Shane or anyone else treat a liability who screams at night as a beacon for the walkers? Why hasn’t anyone challenged Shane his leadership position especially after Ed’s beating in 103 and now Jim? There should be murmurings and grumblings of a coup d’état most likely from Lori. Alas this show has no interest in human motivation and condition. This is soap opera and General Hospital has been running for 50 years.

In Atlanta the racist stereotyping continues. The only good Injun is a dead one but these Latinos are good guys. They may come across as gangbangers but they’re really just looking after their grandmothers – for shame. Atlanta is a majority African-American city but in the wonderful world of white fantasy where are all the black zombies?

They’re unemployed.

There is a token black zombie. T-Dog is given a gun. He gets to use it as well. He gets to shoot a zombie. Guess which one.

I’m your worst nightmare.

I’m a n— with a gun badge.

Eddie Murphy

Another 48 Hours

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The Walking Dead 103: Tell It to the Frogs

A television serial is an extended form of storytelling. It bears similarity to the novel in that soon after the beginning there has to be a lull in order for the story to catch up to the plot. Tell it to the Frogs attempts to explain the series subplot: why is Rick Grimes’ wife shagging his best friend?

In professional wrestling the maxim is to hide a performer’s weaknesses whilst accentuating his strengths – that way a man like Hulk Hogan becomes an icon. 103 pulls Rick Grimes out of Atlanta (peril) and into the boondocks (the camp). Here the story weaknesses have no zombies to hide behind.

Mythology is open to adaptation so credit to the program makers for their version and expansion of zombie lore. It was established in Days Gone Bye (101) that the walkers are more active at night. Guts (102) stated they are attracted by “sight, sound and smell”. In this episode the camp lights at least two fires (at night). It defies narrative logic.

Alas the plot demands it. The campfire scene introduces new character Ed. It establishes tension between Ed and camp leader Shane. This takes place after Rick Grimes reunites with his family in what has to be the most signposted and underwhelming scene since Colleen forgave Wayne Rooney¹.

The script tries to convince the viewer that Rick’s wife Lori is innocent of adultery ie Shane told her Rick was dead. This begs the question which is worse: a whore or a widow who can’t wait to sleep with her recently deceased husband’s best friend and partner? Lori’s actions do not a sympathetic character make yet she is being painted as one.

Lori is played by a Sarah Wayne Callies². Her chemistry with lead Andrew Lincoln is remote so the blame is hers and her résumé on IMDb explains why. She is not an actor – she’s a line reader. Her career is TV fodder.

There are more new characters introduced in camp. Juan has a wife and two children with nary a line between them. His small children aren’t as worried about him as the adult Amy is about her sister Andrea. To be sure the people of colour serve as tokens and stereotypes. To be fair they’re not the only ones.

How big is this camp? None of the characters say or indicate how many of them there are. They cannot possibly cover all their parameters and Dale’s daytime standing atop the RV is a writer’s feeble attempt at sentry. Moreover what are they feeding on? It can’t be the land. Nor can it be squirrels and tins of baked beans with frog’s legs to look forward to. There is a reason why zombie films take place in cities. Fiction relies on the suspension of disbelief. Despite Shane’s water source this show has jumped the shark.

The token black female Jacqui has established herself as mammy. T-Dog – him with the gangsta name – insists on risking his own life to save the racist who beat him, spat on him and threatened to kill him. He’s a good slave. Ed is another type of TV stereotype. He’s a white man (but we know he’s a bad man because he’s sexist). He dares to hit her in front of witnesses – only on television – and gets a beatdown from Shane for it. Compare his beating with that of Merle’s in 102. Sexism is worse than racism – but only when directed at a white woman.

The dénouement of this episode was telegraphed in its prologue. Three episodes in The Walking Dead is TV writing at its worst. To be fair television is the worst medium of writing. This is not the only piece of shit to be a major hit. At one time everybody watched Baywatch.

Readers of the comics say the walking dead are the survivors not the zombies. I say they’re the people who watch this show and haven’t got the wherewithal to know they’re being laughed at.

Do you think those nitwits out there in zombieland remember anything? It’s junk food for the brain.

Robert Downey Jr (Wayne Gale)

Natural Born Killers 1994

1 Rooney’s hooker denies having sex with him

2 Sarah Wayne Callies

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