Each New Year brings hope. This year ought to bring more.
Every year in every century ends with the numbers
0-99. The most important year to the world ends with ‘00’. The most important
to the horror film fan ends with ‘13’. A 100 years ago cinema was nascent.
Today the internet is mainstream. It is the fanbase and support structure for
the genre. Today is 2013. It is the year of horror. We won’t live to see the
next.
Welcome.
This is what the industry has in cinema for
us.
[Only films with confirmed release dates are
included. All dates are UK and North America only and are subject to change
(see Carrie). Releases are wide unless otherwise stated. The criterion is big
budget, buzz and expectation. My expectation.]
Texas Chainsaw
3D (January
4th US & UK)
Before everyone goes back to work and the
kids go back to school Hollywood decided to capitalise on the January Open.
This week last year Paramount released The Devil Inside. By
the end of the month it had grossed $53million1. . That film was risible.
Fool me once.
Mama (Jan
18th US/Feb 22nd UK)
Foreign horror films are the flesh and bone
to Hollywood’s new clothes. The best movies come from Spain. They are the most
literate and they are the most lyrical – when filmed in Spanish.
Mama is
an English language film. When the Spanish script English it can result in The
Others 2001 or Darkness 2002. This film, however,
has promising pedigree. It is based on a short and produced by the only Master
of Horror at work today; Guillermo del Toro.
Sold.
The
Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia (Feb 1st US VOD and Limited)
As noted by Grace in the video review below the American holocaust of African slaves features in the storyline of this film. What she didn’t mention is that it featured in Candyman too.
Stoker (Mar 1st US & UK)
The Others 2001 is
a great horror film. Nicole Kidman is in almost every scene thus a horror film
starring Kidman cannot be ignored.
The director of Stoker is
Park Chan-wook. He directed Oldboy 2003. It won the Grand Prix at the Cannes
Film Festival.in 2004. As his name suggests Park is Korean. Directing actors in
English may turn out to be a faux pas for him. Especially since one of those
actors is Dermott Mulroney..
The jury is out.
The Last
Exorcism Part 2 (Mar 1st US & Mar 15th
UK)
The original is one of the better found
footage films (for those who can’t stand the genre that’s an accusation of
being the smartest idiot). This sequel retains the lead actress from the former
but not the writer-director team. The good news is the three year gap between
films. The gestation suggests adequate time was spent on the script and the
edit.
The Evil
Dead (Apr 12th US & Mar 15th UK)
After a year’s reprieve the remake is back.
The tagline is a whore’s pillow talk. It’s
superfluous as the title alone will attract the middle aged Gen-Xers looking
for their lost teenage years. Perhaps they (but not me) will Facebook the
chicks they were seeing in high school when the original came out. Those hot
chick are now grandmothers fighting hot flush menopause with medication.
Sam Raimi has moved on. He left the fanboys behind
in their mother’s basements.
Carrie (Apr
5th UK & Oct 18th US)
Q:
What is The ‘Rats biggest single?
A:
I Don’t Like Mondays.
The title is a direct quote from then 16 year
old Brenda Ann Spencer. She was answering a reporter’s question as to why she had
perpetrated in the Cleveland Elementary School massacre. The day was 29 January
1979.
The original Carrie was
released in 1976 – when the schoolyard massacre was an anomaly. Don’t expect Carrie 2013 to
be released theatrically in America. Today the schoolyard massacre is a
regularity. There will be a lot of school shootings before the projected
release date.
World
War Z (June 21st US & UK)
I listened to the audio book – or rather I
listened to as much as I could before I washed my ears out in repugnance. The
story is nothing more than white supremacist wishful delusions; in the middle
of the zombie apocalypse even Nelson Mandela wants to worship whitey.
This racist masturbation was written by Max
Brooks – as in son of Mel. It proves that no matter how much money you throw at
the problem, how much education you bestow upon a racist there is no cure for
evil.
Of course Hollywood is going to screw it up
by taking out all the trash and leaving the action set pieces.
Thank you Hollywood.
Thank you Hollywood.
The
Conjuring (July
19th US & UK)
Vera Farmiga has proved she can play support
in action films (Source Code 2011 and Safe
House 2012). In
The
Conjuring she plays the lead role in a horror film.
 |
| Vera Farmiga: Old Spice |
Liv Tyler attempted the same and failed in The
Strangers 2008.
Jennifer Connolly tried this and stumbled in Dark Water 2005.It’s a tailor made
role for a middle aged woman (see Virginia Madsen in The
Haunting in Connecticut). Vera gets to play mother hen to a
family haunted by ghosts.
Horror doesn’t have to be original – it just
has to be good.
You’re
Next (Aug
23rd US & UK)
The fans of Ti West continue to congregate
around their computers and wait for news of his next venture. You’re
Next is a home invasion flick a la Secuestrados 2010. This is the first
Ti West film to have a wide/international release – but it’s not a Ti West
film. He neither wrote nor directed this picture. He’s the second billed actor.
 |
| written and directed by Ti West |
That makes it a Ti West film.
There
are better films on the horizon but Maniac and
[●REC]4
Apocalypse haven’t received release dates yet. The
genre waits for a game changer à la Scream 1996, Halloween 1978 and Night
of the Living Dead 1968. In
the meantime remakes are fine in theory but horror is best practiced with originality.
Antiviral directed
by Brandon Cronenberg: coming soon.
I’d like to wish a belated happy new year to
all those who visited the blog in 2012. We read. We write. The culture is safe
in our hands. Filip I want to hear your Exorcist 3 review; Steupz you still the
man; Nisar keep watching those stats; Ricky Sprague – you are a writer. To all
those who regularly read my blog and I didn’t mention you by name – let’s get acquainted
this year.
Faith in Fiction.
Read more Thrill Fiction:
Re/Made in the USA: Silent House
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